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He’s in Miami, bitch

Taghna Lkoll. Used to be we’d say “they think they can get away with it”, now we’ve upped the ante and we say “they know they can get away with it”. What’s “it”? Anything. Abso-effin-lutely anything. No use getting all het up under the collar, no use pointing fingers at this or that. It’s official. Joseph Muscat’s Taghna Lkoll Labour Party cum Movement (sic(k)) is not only expert at scraping the bottom of the political barrel but it also excels in packaging the detritus thus obtained and selling it as pure gold.

We have already dealt with the assault on democratic respectability that has been perpetrated in the first few months of Labour’s government. Ministers acting as mini-despots, brazen nepotistic (uxoric?) appointments and schemes that are very transparently hatched solely to repay electoral debts and please those who naively formed a “movement for change”. The very foundation of Taghna Lkoll’s “cheaper energy” scheme is built on associations and dealings with entities of the most dubious international standing coupled with a sell-out to anything ringing of Remninbi investment (no questions asked).

Which brings us to the Passports for Sale saga. As I type, our Prime Minister – that is the Prime Minister of a democratic republic that proudly participates on the world stage – is a main speaker at a conference in Miami where he will be flogging Maltese passports on the cheap in much the same way as Nidal Binni (forgive me Nidal) flogs his Blue Pain Relief. “Passaport Malti… int taf x’ifisser”.  So our PM’s in Miami, bitch…

When I step on the scene
Y’all know me, ’cause I walk with a limp
Like a old school pimp a real O G
I’m rocking vans
I’m in the sand
I’ve a got a red bull and vodka up in my hand

– LMFAO (I’m in Miami)

And pimpin’ he is. Because let’s face it. You only have to have swallowed so many of the Taghna Lkoll pills so as not to be able to differentiate between what the going rate for privileged citizenship investor schemes is and the Taghna Lkoll version of “Pimp my Nationality”. The organisation chosen to wheel and deal with the passports is about as legit as it can be – exploiting loopholes and opportunities offered by Banana Republics in desperate need for some extra cash. The clientele in such a market are not exactly the creme de la creme of high society and you can bet your last passport cover that the attendees at the Miami and London parties are the kind whose names appear in the Interpol kind of Who’s Who … not so VIP then.

It doesn’t stop there does it? Our Prime Minister is setting up his international street hawker stand just off the Florida Keys and be sure that he will be promising absolute anonymity to anybody prepared to fork out the piles of Jeffersons. In an astute move, the new scheme does not oblige the government to publish the names of successful applicants in the Government Gazzette.

Seriously. Our jet setting Prime Minister currently in Miami dealing in republican passports on the cheap had tried to convince us that he is an international diplomat of the highest quality – from the UN to Washington to Israel to Palestine, we are supposed to believe that with the advent of Muscat on the international scene we will soon be seeing a solution to the Palestinian Problem, Syrian Troubles, the African Immigrant Exodus and probably soon enough he’ll have a cure for cancer. The Taghna Lkoll mouthpieces have not hesitated one bit in promulgating the message of The Great Communicator cum Part Time Passport Salesman in the local news. It’s beginning to look and sound more and more like Cuba’s Granma in the eighties.

Meanwhile let’s hope Muscat took some dollars with him to the conference. I’d hate to see him fumbling through his pockets at the cocktail bar only to notice he has no cash on his person… “Do you have change for Maltese passports?”