Mistura

Jista’ jkun li l-qasam tas-satira fil-politika Maltija ħa spinta kbira waqt din l-elezzjoni. Li ma tantx naraw (jew aħjar nisimgħu) f’Malta huwa kummentarju ta’ tip ieħor li jmur lil hinn minn dak tal-kummentarji professjonali u/jew amatorjali. Qed nirreferi għall-influwenza dgħajfa tal-media mużikali bħala għodda ta’ riflessjoni. Il-mużika tintuża iva bi skop politiku biżżejjed insemmu l-aħħar kummiedja medjatika tal-PN li ħarġu bl-idea tal-karaoke tal-innu elettorali. Kull sena ukoll ikollna il-Festival tal-Indipendenza li diffiċli tieħu bis-serjeta u nimmaġina li hemm xi ekwivalenti Laburista ukoll.

Pero il-kantawtur – dak li jaqta’ feles mill-immaġni popolari u jdawwarha f’rima u mużika li taf tagħti immaġni daqs l-aqwa poster satiriku – jekk mhux iktar – huwa kważi assenti mix-xena mużikali Maltija. Diffiċli li tqiegħed ix-xogħolijiet ta’ Joe Demicoli fl-istess keffa għax jekk xejn huwa komiku u anki slapstick. Kellna il-one hit wonder ta’ Bundy li madanakollu kien laqat il-likk. Xi gruppi oħra li f’mumenti iktar kwieti tawna kliem u mużika miżgħuda b’temi soċjali forsi ma jħossux l-urġenza tal-kontribut immedjat.

Sieħbi Antonio Olivari ġibidli l-attenzjoni għal din il-biċċa mużika tal-grupp Mistura. Nieħu pjaċir noffri lil J’accuse bħala pjattaforma oħra biex tixxandar din it-tip ta’ mużika. Nittama li jkolli okkażjoni nagħmel hekk għal oħrajn ukoll. Inħalli lilkom tgħarblu l-kontenut.

 

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They promise the earth

The short man from Milan is back. His political campaign has begun (as always) on the football field with the return of the prodigal son Mario Balotelli to the Milanese fold (sponda rossonera). Berlusconi hit the headlines in Italy today with his promises of major tax cuts and institutional reforms. It should all sound familiar by now – in Italy it is the restitution of an alphabet soup of taxes from the IRAP to the IMU – and of course given the lack of popularity of politicians Silvio is also banking on promises such as halving the size of parliament and the removal of public financing of parties.

His opponents (and former allies) did not waste time in replying. There’s a huge familiarity in that too: Berlusconi promises much but never delivers is the most prominent of them all. Even Casini who had shacked up with Berlusconi for quite some time pointed an accusing finger at Berlusconi’s track record. The Cavaliere is knee dip in the populistic approach and don’t forget he is the man who reinvented political marketing in Italy. His is also an attack on the caretaker Monti government. Guess what? He claims that Monti betrayed the people and did not fulfil its duties of democratic representation.

Outspoken Nichi Vendola best described Berlusoni’s latest sortie: “Sembra Wanna Marchi” – comparing the ex-premier to a notorious fraudster who had built an empire selling rubbish on the tv. In Malta we had Mike Briguglio describing the local scene as “An electoral supermarket”… not too far off the Wanna Marchi mark.

Berlusconi built his empire starting off from the property business. In his case HE is the contractor. Will his promises be enough to win the trust of enough voters? Will the fish bite?

Wanna Marchi was condemned for 9 years and 4 months in prison – her biggest mistake was not becoming a politician. With the kind of talents that she had you never know how far she could have got.

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Jeħduh f’sormhom

Forsi din ma hix espressioni li l-grupp tal-facebook Kelma Kelma se jittratta b’daqstant faċilita. Mhux għax ma ħaqqhiex. Anzi. Naħseb li tikkwalifika sew bħala espressjoni mill-iprem fl-użu kurrenti tal-poplu Malti. In-natura ipokrita tal-Malti (il-bniedem mhux l-ilsien, jaħasra) ma tippermettix pero li titkellem dwar il-kurrenti u l-magħruf jekk il-kurrenti u l-magħruf huwa – kif isejħulu is-soċjologi – taboo. U s-sorm, kif kullħadd jaf, diġa huwa taboo minnu – aħseb u ara l-espressjoni li timplika teħid ta’ oġġetti mhux neċesarjament speċifikati fil-warrani.

F’kampanja elettorali bħal ma hi din is-sorm jispikka b’mod ubikwu mingħajr qatt ma jissemma. Filwaqt li fuq il-mezzi tax-xandir jagħmlu l-għolmu tagħhom biex jagħtu xejra ta’ diċenza u (għaliex le) serjeta professjonali f’kull dibattitu mimli retorika propagandistika, huwa fl-analiżi odjerna li ssir għand tal-grocer (kif xtaq Simon) li joħroġ veru l-ispirtu razzjonali tal-votant Malti u jissemma bil-bosta s-sorm (kif forsi ma xtaqx Simon).

“Smajtu lit-tali ilbieraħ? Ma felaħx jitkellem iktar minn sormu”. Kliem espliċitu, vera, imma indikazzjoni ċara tal-andament tal-affarijiet. L-apprezzament jaf ikun partiġġjan u jaf ikun diżilluż pero is-sorm hemm jibqa’. Tista’ ukoll taqa fir-redikolu venjali – l-isplapstick tas-satira – u tgħid li bilfors dak il-kliem kollu dwar il-gass minn x’imkien kellu joħroġ.

“Kemm se jdumu jeħduħ f’sormhom (bija – suġġettiv, bina – ġeneriku)?” Il-bżar fl-għajnejn, it-tlellix u x-xinxilli, iċ-ċejċa, il-propaganda u l-ispinn. Din l-espressjoni hija l-oażi ta’ rifuġju għal min xebgħa sal-ponta ta’ imnieħru bir-retorika antika, bil-wiegħdiet foloz u bir-riżma insulti għall intelliġenza. L-irkant tal-wiegħdiet forsi jaf jingħata post speċjali fil-mezzi tax-xandir – taf int, għal għajn in-nies – imma fil-privat il-proxxmu jiżżarma minn kull ewfemiżmu inutli u jfaqqa’ verżjoni mundana ta’ “Kemm se jdumu jeħduh f’għajnhom”.

Għax iva. L-għajn hija ewfemiżmu ukoll u tfakkar wisq fl-għajn bħala fonti jew sors li f’dal każ jissarraf biss f’sors ta’ inutilta … l-anti-google. Bħal meta tisma’, biex nagħti eżempju konkret, dik il-gidba dwar “id-dekriminalizzazzjoni tal-omosesswalita“. Ma nafx int imma demmi jibda jbqabaq. Bħal dak li qallhom kien krimini qabel l-1974 li tkun omosesswali. Mhux vera. Qed jieħduh f’sormhom bik meta jgħidulek hekk.

Il-krimini kien li proprja tieħdu f’sormok. Litteralment. U li tagħtih ukoll. L-orjentazzjoni sesswali kienet irrilevanti f’għajnejn il-leġiżlatur. Kien biss l-att – magħruf teknikament bħala sodomija – li kien illegali. Biex niftehmu sas-74 il-pufti (kif kellhom tendenza kerha isejħu lill-omosesswali dak iż-żmien) setgħu ikunu pufti kemm iridu. Li ma setgħux jagħmlu  kien l-att as-sodomoija. U mhux huma biss – għax teknikament jekk kont tinqabad fl-att ma kienx se joqgħod jistaqsi jekk intix pufta jew le. Ftakar li il-fetiċċju li tieħdu f’sormok jaf ma kienx limitat għall-irġiel biss. U le il-ktieb ma jismux “50 Shades of Gay“.

Illum għal grazzja kbira m’għadniex nużaw it-terminu pufta avolja li għal żmien twil wara’ kienu l-istess psewdo-liberali ta’ nofs is-sebgħinijiet li baqgħu jużawha bħala insult – insult li jsib il-benniena tiegħu fil-biża u fl-injuranza. Pero ftakar. Meta jgħidulek li iddekriminalizzaw l-omosesswalita ma jkunu qed jagħmlu xejn ħlief jeħduh f’sormhom. Bik. Għax issa legali hux.

Ħabib tiegħi jirrakkonta storja li taf tkun apokrifa dwar Duminku Mintoff. Meta kien ikun irrabjat b’xi problema kien jgħid “Min se jiġi ineħħili dan iż-ż* minn sormi u jsibli sorm ieħor fejn nitfgħu?” Inkredibbli. Mhux talli l-lingwaġġ huwa popolari u ġenwin iżda huwa anki rikonoxximent tal-irwol importanti tal-warrani fejn jidħlu problemi u soluzzjonijiet. Jispikka ukoll l-altruwiżmu ta’ Dear Dom li ma kienx se jħalli xi ż* jiġri mas-saqajn.

“Naħseb kien b’sormha meta ħareġ biha”. Għax il-kelma għandha mitt użu u l-għodda t-tajba tiswa mitqla deheb f’idejn l-imgħallem. B’sormha… għal darb’ oħra insibu ġustifikazzjoni għan-nuqqas ta’ sens. Għax jekk mhux qed jeħduh f’sormhom bik bi ħsieb allura forsi qed jiżbaljaw għax ħadu grokk żejjed il-każin.

Hemm qiegħdin. Wasalna f’punt fil-kampanja fejn iċ-ċittadin qed jirrikorri għall-espressjonijiet vernakulari iktar u iktar kull ma jmur. Iktar milli xebgħa huwa għajjien. Strafinit. Dak li jiġrilu. Jħalli lil min iħaddmu bi storbju, b’muntanja wiegħdiet u beżgħat. Minkejja li jaf x’qed jagħmlulu iħalli lil min jieħdu f’sormu bih.

U dakinhar tal-vot imur u jagħtihulhom… qisu qatt ma kien xejn. Ħasra. Għax bir-rata li għaddejin biha x’iktarx li naqgħu għal sormna.

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Show me the tablet

Our country does not lie on a vast oil deposit. If it does have one then we either haven’t found it or somebody is very good at keeping it well hidden. We do not export massive amounts of goods and notwithstanding all the talk about the gaming industry and tourism there is only so much you can “earn” to justify spending. We are not even a diligent country in the fashion of Norway that invests most of the money it gets from its oil deposits into a fund for future generations. Inevitably when elections come round even though we may be completely drunk with partisan euphoria the crux of the matter will (or should) always be the same: “Show me the money”.

The tablet wars late last week had a strange effect on me. It was one thing having pointed out for a very long time the atrocious “race to the bottom” that the PLPN dichotomy signifies. It was another to see the manner in which this tongue-in-cheek brazen approach to having a go at insulting the voter’s intelligence has been developed. All the elements coincided – you had the auction of promises and the typical partisan reaction from both sides of our Lilliputian gap. Without batting an eyelid both parties had promised millions of euros of electronic equipment to our younger generations and both parties claimed a monopoly on this move being part of some wider education plan.

Wider plan my foot. Suffice it to say that the Malta Union of Teachers was far from impressed by this tomfoolery. How bloody typical. Remember this is the government that followed our decision to get into the EU but that failed to factor a course for translators and interpreters at University in the run up to membership. How is that relevant? It’s relevant because it is one thing to shoot ambitious plans off the cuff and another thing to actually be in a position to implement them. Ask Manuel Delia.

Before you run away with some twisted idea, this is not an amish attack on all things technological. Of course technology is the future but that is not the point. The point is that both parties very evidently treat this tablet business superficially. Rent-a-pundits will link to a single article in a Microsoft Public Network magazine and will tell you that this is proof that the PN’s tablet proposal has concrete background. Sure. With all due respect to the Mark Azzopardi who has been interviewed in the article I have my doubts how much a Miss World style wish at the end of an article in a Microsoft promotional e-zine to boot can be taken as “background to a government policy” costing 25€ million of taxpayers’ money.

Not to mention of course the fact that if this were really the background then I would begin to worry about how the government already is looking into one particular company (Microsoft) and then I would begin to ask more questions – specifically who represents Microsoft in Malta and who would stand to gain from a deal that puts Microsoft’s learning programme in every school?

As for Labour. Don’t get me started. Their approach is even more bungled and transparent when it comes to the lack of planning. We are lumped with another “remedial class”. Do you remember all the bla bla about consultation with social partners? Do you remember how open Labour is even on the social networks? Well, have I got news from you. They were not listening. Had they been listening to the educators of this country they would have known the immense logistical mountain that faces the schools should the tablet in every hand become a reality. What of LSAs and teachers who suddenly have four or five kids in class with some error on their tablet? Does Labour know that there is no logisitical IT support for every school? From what I am told even LSA coordination is bad enough with government schools having one coordinator for ten schools. That’s without the tablets.

This is not a case of a country not being ready for development and progress. This is a case of a country not affording the truckloads of bullshit that are being heaped upon it daily in this election. The worst thing about it all is not that “Everybody lies” but rather that “everybody is eager to swallow the lies” so long as it’s their party feeding them the bull.

J’accuse challenges both parties to admit that their tablet promise is the result of the drunken euphoria and passion that this election has brought about. We challenge both parties to take back their empty promise and instead to promise a planned introduction of a proper IT project – one that takes into account all participants in the equation, all cogs in the wheel – like teachers for example.

Tablets for all? Thanks, but no thanks.

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J’accuse in Oz

We’re back from our weekend break in Paris – a welcome pause from the early part of the election campaign (both for myself and for the readers I guess). In the meantime the first programme on SBS featuring a J’accuse round-up of the previous week’s electoral campaign has gone online. We are hoping to keep this weekly appointment with Marlene Cassandra Galea (time zones permitting) and look forward to some interaction with our readers from the other side of the globe. Click on the player below to listen to the interview.

 

Here is the SBS player:

Click here to go to the stream on the SBS website.

Credits: Marlene Cassandra Galea for the programme, Toni Sant for the link up.

 

 

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Mhux ilsien ħażin

Lil Facebook nistħajlu Paceville. Saru jitkellmu dwaru qisu kull ma ssib fih huwa ħażin u ta’ min jistmerru. Qatt ma nitgħallmu jaħasra. L-ingliżi jgħidu “a bad worker blames his tools”. Ma nafx jekk hemmx frażi ekwivalenti bil-Malti. Issa pero forsi sibt rokna tal-internet fejn insir naf. Dan l-aħħar skoprejt grupp ġdid fuq facebook. Jismu “kelma kelma” hu huwa vjaġġ ta’ tkixxif … fejn wieħed jista’ kuljum jiskopri perli ta’ għarfien ġodda dwar l-ilsien li tagħtna ommna. Ilsien pajjiżna biex niftehmu. U f’dawn il-jiem fejn qażżu il-kukuzzli bil-posts politiċi, dak li għandu x’joffri il-kittieb ta’ “kelma kelma” (qaluli min hu pero ma nafx jieħux gost li insemmih b’ismu allura jieħu prosit anonimu għalissa) huwa oasi ta’ wens.

Jekk trid tkun taf għalfejn nużaw l-espressjoni “qishom id-di u d-do” jew kemm hemm modi differenti biex tgħid “blu jew aħmar” fittex issieħeb fil-grupp. L-indirizz virtwali tiegħu huwa dan: http://www.facebook.com/kelmakelma.mt

Saħħiet.

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