PLPN

The joke’s on you

I’m just back from a late night showing of a fantastic The Dark Knight Rises. It’s definitely my favourite from the Christopher Nolan series if only for the plot that jumps straight at you as a masterpiece of political intrigue. What happens to society if you give it the freedom to choose? What happens when you unleash the angry, when you release the envious and the underachieving and give them a free run to destroy those who they perceive as the elite?

It didn’t help me much that my current read is Francis Fukuyama’s “The Origins of Political Order: From Prehuman Times to the French Revolution.” It’s a highly recommendable exploration into how society comes up with its institutions and orders itself in order to survive. In particular it is a look at (1) the state, (2) the rule of law and (3) accountable government. But more of that later in future posts.

Before going out I thought of rehashing a photo that’s been doing the rounds about another smart and funny billboard that the PL thought up in answer to the as yet empty billboards that apparently cost the PN €200,000 to erect (tee-hee). You know the one… it points at an empty PN billboard and has the amazing two-liner “gonziPN – Gvern Bahh”. There’s something irritating about Labour’s complacent attitude with regards to the facile catchphrases that ultimately all point to the same baseline: “Gonzi Iggranfat mal-poter”, “Gvern bla ideat” and now “Gvern Bahh”.

Friends of this blog seem to identify a pro-nationalist streak in me whenever I take a dig at the immense vacuum that is Labour. It would keep Stephen Hawking busy for quite a while – the vacuum that is. Unfortunately when I weigh my reaction about such campaigns as the “Gvern Bahh” campaign I find that the anger element far outweighs the funny (oh Labour can be smart) element. Why? Because, as I have said a hundred million times before Labour is in a constant mode of denial whereby it assumes that simply pointing out the deficit of the incumbent will give it a free ticket to govern.

Labour assumes that the intelligent voter can be wooed simply by saying – hey you’re in shit so might as well have us be the new provider of daily fecal matter. The voter is in a bit of a situation like having to choose between two restaurants. The first is your traditional run of the mill Pizza & Pasta Italian that is having a bit of a down time with the chef having lost control of the kitchen.

The other restaurant just has the one guy standing outside pointing out how bad the plates in the Italian restaurant are of late. The only hunch is that we have no idea what the second restaurant sells, whether they actually have any kind of food on the plate and whether it is the type of cuisine that is to our liking (they claim they can cook anything but refuse the smallest of tasters). Yet we laugh at the jokes about the not too al dente spaghetti and the colour of the crockery in the Italian joint.

Yep. We only have two restaurants to choose from and sadly the only kind of joke there is to laugh at is a joke at our expense. You’ve got it right mate… the joke’s on you.

and a nice tune to finish this off… all the way from the free airwaves of 1991 (I recall a DJ Schembri if I am not mistaken)…


 

 

 

 

Summer siestas

It’s sizzling hot (apparently). August’s heat approaches with the certainty of a sunrise and the last events of the political season are being played out. Let’s not fool ourselves. There is going to be a break – a pause – as the politicians scramble to the safety of the seaside… or like mercenaries they will find some earthly form of hell where to regroup. In the meantime though the last notes of this particular act are being played out.

As I blogged earlier today, the Nationalist party is keen to have the last word on all things leak and Mistra. It’s not about Mistra they will tell you but about Joseph Muscat being a blabberer – a peċluq – as we would have it in the vernacular. The Labour party rightly retorts by focusing on a totally different point and reminding “GonziPN” that Dr Sant was right about the geezer who favours Earl Grey. That geezer marched off for his summer holidays in a huff having notified the PN that he is no longer one of their own (like they needed it in writing) and having informed the Speaker of the House that he is henceforth to be considered as an Independent. His cohabitation having been clarified he will now apparently be off and wed so, unless he takes the matter of wedlock lightly, that should keep him out of the news for a while.

The grumbling has started. It’s become a catchphrase of sorts now. “Oh how they have bored us.”, “Enough already”, “Why don’t they just resign and call an election”… and more of the same. You cannot really blame the electorate for having sussed out that most of these theatricals are to nobody’s benefit and that they can be more boring than spending an evening watching Musumeci Robert put up aphorism after aphorism on Facebook. Then again I have the niggling feeling that this is the usual thinking “sal-ponta ta’ l-imnieħer” as the vernacular would also put it.

Why? Because while it has become stylish to feign a lack of interest and to sing-a-long to the “bored with politics” and the “politicos” (a new word that, that has entered the collective vocab) few seem to understand what actually lies behind the corner. While everybody claims to no longer be intrigued by the squeakings of officials and spinmasters the truth is that their urge to “call an election” and get it over and done with turns out to be more of an emotional impulse than a thought out reflection.

And the reason is simple. When the curtain finally falls and the electoral campaign is in full swing we should be finally seeing two parties displaying their wares and what they have to offer in terms of governance for the new season. Mr Voter would be choosing from among these wares and therefore should be expecting to see a bit more than slogans and mud. Are the parties ready for that?

I have a strong feeling that the timing of PN strategy until now points clearly to a summer of preparation for an election. As I type slogans are being hatched (or copied from French campaigns), manifestos are being hurriedly beefed up and a strategy based on what the party can offer (and what new guarantees it can promise) is probably being brewed. The PN elected in 2008 is split and a good target for derisory facebook statuses or smartass expressions of surprise. The PN2012 team will be making damn sure that the new team has none of that.

And Labour? Well, once Muscat has recovered from the spumante he will return to the island to find that his provision of ammo is running dry. He has spent the last nine months honeymooning with the man who he now calls the second Prime Minister and has concentrated exclusively on the “iggranfat mal-poter” theorem. Once the relevance of that whole issue is officially declared passé, Muscat will find that he has very little time to reinvent a machine that he has groomed to produce more of the same old comatose opposition by default. It may be too late.

Four to five  weeks. That’s approximately how much time the parties have to get it together and regroup. I’m betting that the PN will attempt to use the summer pause for a Janus effect. One face looking back and another decisively forward. Will Labour manage to do anything other than the obvious and the predictable?

More importantly will the electorate prove to be a sucker for cosmetics one more time?

Cohabitation stupid.

Over at the Runs there seems to be some backtracking about whether or not the JPO-PN arrangement is actually a coalition. It would seem that someone more competent than Daphne wrote a guest-post upon invitation clarifying why the JPO and PN arrangement is not a coalition: An Independent-Nationalist, not a ‘coalition’. Well there’s nothing new there that we have not been saying before (More Lessons in Irrelevance – 19/07/12)) or that has not been said clearly by James Debono (This is not a coalition – 20/07/12).

There is an effort though to shoot down the term cohabitation:

So, please, let’s use political terms properly and correctly. ‘Cohabitation’ has also been floating around on the internet. But that only happens in France – and the United States, without the term being used as such – when a president with executive powers does not enjoy the support of the majority in the National Assembly, or in the case of the United Staes, of Congress.

Which is stretching things a little bit isn’t it? The anonymous guest poster does point to the UK example of a Conservative MP resigning the party whip and being called an Independent-Conservative. Bollocks. That’s not true. They are called nothing of the sort. They either resign the party whip and become independent or resign the party whip and cross the floor. Here is a list of British politicians who have done so since (hold your breath) 1698. There’s no such nonsense as an Independent-Conservative as there is no such nonsense as an Independent-Nationalist.

Jeffrey Pullicino Orlando famously “felt liberated” after resigning from the Nationalist Party. He is no longer a member. He is not an Independent-Nationalist. He is an independent MP who has opted for cohabitation with the nationalist MPs on the strength of a number of terms. His vote is conditional on the PN adhering to the electoral manifesto.

He reiterated that he would continue to collaborate with the government on the points listed in the electoral programme but said it would be a mistake by the prime minister if he did not consult him on a one-on-one basis as agreed, on matters which were not specifically mentioned in the electoral programme. This also included the Budget.

There you go. It’s not a coalition. He is not an independent-nationalist.

It’s cohabitation, stupid.

How’s that for a snazzy t-shirt?

That last interview

If I did not have the habit of scrolling through the news on my phone while still in bed I would not have noticed that the Times was already half way through an interview with Jeffrey Pullicino Orlando by 7.30 am (corrigendum – One TV was, the Times was reporting). If that is not a sign that time is running out on this man’s relevance to the local scenario then I do not know what is.

The only reason his words are being rushed to “online” print as he speaks (rather than being kept for some yawn-inducing suspense until Sunday) is that the level of interest into what JPO has to say will probably be close to zilch by the time a particular meeting is over tonight.

The dentist has not changed one iota from March 2008 when his antics and shenanigans were intended to outwit Alfred Sant’s Labour in a battle of “con the people”. He may have switched allegiance insofar as the inspirations of spin are concerned but the final outcome is (ever so wrapped in poetic justice) same, same but different.

There is a simple logical premiss to be made behind all this. IF JPO really believes whatever he says he is believing then the only step available to him right now is to take his estranged self outside the body politic that is the Nationalist party. He obviously knows as much as everybody else that the only reason that he was not expelled from the party last week was  a matter of convenience – the PN is waiting for him to step out or at worst to be the cause of the premature end of government.

The hemlock had been served but rather than swallow it JPO “fights” on, probably believing that he is some kind of Samson about to bring the whole edifice tumbling down. His is a dirty game. There are no two ways about it. It is a game where values and principles are so far off track that they could be mistaken for whores at a harem.

His final grand “j’accuse” (not that he is worthy of such words) is a mass of conjecture that is being propped up (or isn’t) by a mixture of Labourite wannabe smartarses whose relationship with the truth is one of selective convenience. Worse than that it is more often than not a lack of truth based on a series of implications, insinuations and winks that can only shame the messenger and not the accused. The constant media harangue against the persona of Richard Cachia Caruana ever since the Labour Wikileaks fiasco has only produced a series of unfounded “impressions” and another series of allegations that have been swiftly denied.

The worst part (for JPO) is that the whole business on the agenda now has nothing to do with crude politics. This is far from a party split based on ideological dissent. It is personal. Very personal. Neither does JPO mention, for one second, any issue of governmental mismanagement – you know, of the kind Labour harps so much about. The main crux of his allegation now is some kind of collusion between RCC and Labour in 1996.

JPO knows that his is a lost cause. Hence his preparing the ground with such phrases as “fighting a lost battle”. Funnier still were such excuses as “if I see X and Y at the door I will simply walk out”.

Walk out he should have. Ages ago. Frankly he should never have walked in. When others preferred to waste their spin on alternattiva demokratika candidates remonstrating at Mistra in 2008 they should have focused on the man in sunglasses sitting on the rubble wall or sporting a china tea cup. They might have avoided this raging bull entering their china shop.

Now it’s up to them to pick up the broken pieces. Meanwhile the signs are even clearer that we will not have to wait for a long time for elections to be announced after the summer recess ends.

The lesson for the intelligent voter (if one was still needed) is that voting is not simply a matter of putting a number next to a party endorsed individual. (If you don’t believe me ask Franco on his new blog). You have to really ask yourself – who is this guy/lass I am voting for. After all we now  have a confirmation that the PLPN cannot be trusted when it comes to party endorsements.

Malta Post-Franco (Reprise)

Discussing the Franco Debono situation over lunch yesterday, we joked that his statement of “I will not vote with Labour” (as reported by MaltaToday) meant just that. Admittedly our considerations were more in jest than anything else but we considered the possibility that Franco was using his very literal form of reasoning in the sense that “not voting with Labour” does not necessarily mean voting otherwise.

I must admit that given the information earlier that morning I too was surprised by the outcome of the final vote. Surprised to a certain extent though. While I had not seen Franco’s vote coming I was fully aware of the consequences of this vote in the sense that there would be no great collapsing of government, no tumbling down of the temples of power and that the only “victim” of this latest fit would be Carm Mifsud Bonnici.

Incidentally we had also joked that since the motion of confidence had concerned a portfolio that was no longer in CMB’s remit then technically there was nothing to resign from once the vote passed. I know, it’s no laughing matter but the way things were going laughter did seem to be the best medicine. The whole body politic has been in the thrall of Franco Debono’s voting antics for quite some time now. As we pointed out in an earlier series of posts (Malta Post Franco I-IV), Franco is doomed to be a temporal blip in political history.

Sure a record might be broken here and there – such as the forcing of a resignation of a minister (within living memory) but the long-term impact of Franco on the Maltese political landscape was always intrinsically linked with the one-seat majority that the nationalist party enjoys (ah, the cruelty of language) in parliament. The content of Franco’s agenda (or whatever screen he has put up to disguise any personal ambitions and compensation for suffering) is all watered down when seen from a long-term perspective.

In two matters Franco has been unintentionally and unwittingly useful. Firstly his protracted theatricals have served to exposed one major weakness of our representative democracy. The obsession with guaranteeing a bi-partisan approach and discarding all other models (such as one that encourages proportional representation) has meant for some time now that the JPO’s and Debonos of this world expose the stark reality of “election or bust” oriented parties without a backbone. This is a weakness that no “premio maggioranza” would solve , rather, it would only serve to entrench the two parties further in their twisted machinations.

The second useful matter concerns the Labour party. Franco’s bluff and no bluff has actually uncovered the Labour party’s brash “power or nothing” approach that discards any conventional value-driven approach while grafting the ugliest versions of the nationalist party to what it believes to be its own benefit. Valueless politics giving way to full blown marketing was already bad enough. Now we have Labour with it’s catastrophic approach. Muscat’s Labour has shot itself in the foot so many times it probably lacks any limbs.

There is a third, important conclusion that one should add. It is the ugly reflection about the “general public”. A large swathe of it – or the particularly active part of it – have proven to be ridiculously hopeful of the promises that Franco seems to have bandied about. His pet subjects were manna to the ears of the disgruntled – particularly conspiracy theories peppered with mantras about arrogance, cliques and friends of friends. His tales of hurt and suffering – culminating in the infamously comic “broken chair in Court” episode could only strike home if the audience were (how can I put it) less informed.

To conclude, the merry go round that risks being extended once Franco misses out on the latest redistribution of power has exposed huge fault lines in our appreciation of how a basic democracy should function. Separation of powers,  judicial authority, parliamentary privileges, public security and rights were all melded together in one big bouillabaisse of political convenience.

Franco’s minutes in the political playing field are now counted. We should have moved on from gazing at Franco months ago, yet we (and the press have much to blame for this) are still at the mercy of his idea of a guessing game. The real politics that will affect out lives for the coming five to ten years lie far away from Franco’s hand. Sadly, nobody seems to be bothered to find out what what those politics and policies really are or will be.

…

from Malta Post-Franco (II)

To get at Austin Gatt, Joe Saliba, Carm Mifsud Bonnici, Richard Cachia Caruana and others Franco Debono decided that the best option was to threaten to topple government. He had had enough waiting in the sidelines for his opinions and ideas to be heard and for a place in the decision making clique that counts. So he refused to play.

PM.pn – auctioning off the prime minister

I’m afraid that I may be a little late on this one since I was still lounging by the pool when this “initiative” made the headlines. To be quite honest when I first heard of it I thought it was a joke – a funny “tickle me under the arms” affair that goes by the name of satire these days. Could it be that the lads at Bis-Serjetà pulled off another “The Onion” inspired headline?  Sadly my first hunch was wrong and the Partit Nazzjonalista was really offering its followers a chance to “become PM for a day” (and win an iPad 3 to boot).  Here is how the Independent reported the possible winnings (PN launches “Be PM for a day”):

The winner of this contest will be handed the opportunity to propose one particular idea or project, as well as naming his or her own members of Cabinet and members of parliament from their acquaintances. The winner will spend a whole day with the Prime Minister on Tuesday, 19 June during which he or she will get to meet the press, tour the corridors of Castille, and discuss policy ideas with Dr Gonzi.

Now this idea of “reaching out” to the public by one of our two political parties smacks of “wrong” in so many ways that I risk missing out on some of them if I do not turn them into a “list”. In these days when marketing and snazzy websites might trump content many people might think that this move is actually “good”, we beg to differ and here is why:

1. PN (a party) – PM (a head of government)

The first and most obvious objection to this crass exercise of X Factor meets Castille is the fact that a party initiative, kicking off from a party website is auctioning off the role of a government position. Not just any government position but THE BIG KAHUNA. It’s the PM seat for chrissakes and they are not even playing make believe. For it would be one thing if the winner would “fake” being Prime Minister and play along in a sort of re-enactment with his friends and the press… you know a sort of King Carnival but for politics. But it’s another thing when our Prime Minister is actually part and parcel of the prize. Which brings me to point two…

2. Does not PM Gonzi have better things to do?

After all what with all these ridiculous motions by the opposition, an economy to hold steady and a government with that perilous one seat majority you would expect a Prime Minister to spend his time in better ways than prancing around with a make believe duplicate addressing press releases about fancy projects from the citizen. What does he expect them to come up with? Something fantastical? A tunnel to Gozo perhaps?

3. The Miseducation of Joe Citizen

Once we’re on this play acting business, even if we were prepared to play along with the party game then there is the not too irrelevant business of education. If we really are trying to get something out of this exercise how about not drumming home the idea that the PM is such a powerful man that he names “his or her own members of Cabinet and members of parliament from their acquaintances”. I mean for crying out loud do they not even stop and read what they propose? A PM choosing members of parliament? From their acquaintances? What shall we call it? “Il-parlament tal-ħbieb (tal=ħbieb) tal-Prim Ministru”? A prime minister does not choose members of parliament – the people do. That’s lesson number one in basic democratic skills innit?

4. Tour the corridors of Castille and discuss policy

Seriously. I was under the impression that Castille had its open days during the nuits blanches that are thrown every now and then. Anybody could get to walk into Castille and shake Dr Gonzi’s hand. As for policy – this is running a bit thin isn’t it? I mean is this the best “listening” the PN can do?

The “Be a PM for a day” is an exercise that would be more fitting in Azerbaijan than in Malta. Yet it is happening and the danger is that it is actually being taken seriously by the fourth estate and the voters who are meant to be more demanding on our politicians and their parties. What next? Shall we bring Simon Cowell in to evaluate the contestants? After all guys like Christian Peregin might have a conflict of interest selecting the winner while also interviewing them on the day they got to play PM.

Strength and resilience. Lord knows that we’re going to need much of those till election time.