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Business as Usual

Once the Good Friday break from business as decreed by Mullah Farrugia is over I guess that the thunder and lightning last night proclaimed the reopening of the business season. That’s what we do best in Malta I guess and there’s plenty to learn about when combing the dailies. The only problem seems to be (for a change) that what passes for journalism here is actually provoked reporting – reporting court cases, reporting police investigations, reporting something said in a cosy office interview. Very often the potential hot story behind the story is left bubbling in the background and there is a dearth of journalists who go for the kill to unearth more “dirt”.

What is it that holds journalists back? Lack of motivation? Political allegiance? Laziness? Unprofessionalism? The only times we do get a semblance of “investigative journalism” it is so blatantly evident that there is a hidden agenda and that strings are being pulled behind the scene that it ceases to be so the moment the “sponsored by” scrawl starts to roll…

Meanwhil, back in Malta’s Gotham here are a few stories that would make the nose twitch of any investigative hound worth his salt:

1. The Pakistani Nurse Allegations
So a group of Pakistani nurses, presumably “taking our jobs” (in billboard lingo) at Mater Dei have blown the whistle on a racket linked to their job. It would seem that the company that employs these nurses  is taking a cut out of their salary in order to guarantee their jobs at our spanking new(ish) hospital named after the Mother of God. “The nurses are reportedly meant to hand over €600 from their first pay and 12 instalments of €200 to complete the sum. Following that, the company still expects payment of €85 monthly for the duration of their contract.” (Times) Now isn’t that lovely? I was reminded of another “business practice” of certain companies who are happy enough to cash government cheques earlier than their due date for the people who essentially live off these cheques – so long as a little “commission” was paid. Stories such as these confirm the commonly held belief that business in Malta is not about competition and success but more about having a well-oiled machine – with an emphasis on the oil.

2. Parties ask everyone for donations

Thus spake contractor Nazzareno Vassallo while celebrating his having survived 65 years in the dog-eat-dog world of Maltese building contractors. Were we surprised? No. Of course not. Would we wonder why his “well-known Nationalist sympathies have often worked against him when bidding for a contract.” Well yes. What does that mean exactly? Why does he bother funding both parties if his sympathies can work against him? How can he get away with frankly admitting that contracts ARE awarded on the basis of political considerations? Nazzareno is not the first to have claimed the “I oil both parties” approach. Sandro Chetcuti famously claimed it was important to have a pocket for every party (thank Mercury we only have two that count in the tendering business aye) and Vince “Holier than Thou” Farrugia has swung around the world of parties with better tempo than a grandfather clock’s pendulum.

3. SmartMalta Targets

Somewhere in the Easter readings (found it – Key Smartisland targets missed – Noel Grima, The Malta Independent on Sunday)  I also followed the result of a PQ regarding targets Malta was supposed to have set itself by 2010 with regard to Smart Malta. I hate to go back on this but among targets such as increasing the number of IT graduates there was also this silly target about having an online shopping mall with 500 shops. Yes I’m still talking about Trolleymania.com because no matter how nice the people behind the project may be I abhor the whole idea. It is the equivalent of the government deciding that in order to incentivise people to open shops it will open its own equivalent of The Point or Arcadia – imagine that… a government run shopping centre! Well we are close to having that because the success or failure of Trolleymania.com is not one of a private enterprise but is directly related to government performance. And how do you think will the government incentivise 500 establishments to set up shop in its very own online mall? Free market? Free competition?

4. There’s more where these came from

It’s not just Trolleymania you know. Speaking to people in the street and small businessmen who are faced with a wall of bureaucracy to set up a mobile fruit shop (let alone an online mall) you notice that there is a reason for that wall of bureucracy and permits… it should be for consumer safety and guarantees. Instead, every step of the way, every euro spent by an enterprising gentleman has to be paired with a euro going the way of the oil machine created to milk the system. Dog eats dog does not even begin to explain how it all works. Alfred Sant’s “friends of friends” comes to mind but it’s even worse than that. It’s a very twisted meritocracy where just desserts has nothing to do with being capable, competitive or enterprising. And it sucks.

Smartmalta? The only way you could be smart in Malta is by following the old adage… if you can’t beat them, join them. Or just get the hell out.

5. Almost forgot AirMalta

I almost forgot our beloved national carrier. Here is the Pilot’s Association President Dominic Azzopardi talking to MaltaToday: “Referring to seat ticket pricing, Azzopardi said tickets are “often sold at cost-price, or loss-making prices” to certain preferred buyers. Asked about who might get this ‘preferential treatment’, Azzopardi pointed to well-connected tour operators as one example.” The article makes for some good reading into how another sector of profitability is carved out between networks within networks…

 

Related:

Herrera alleges “rampant nepotism in financial sector” : one wonder if he’ll still be singing the same tune once it’s his party’s turn to milk the cow.

The Enthusiasm of Youth

Three days into my stay on the island and I am getting a bit of a tan notwithstanding the sporadic games of hide and seek played out by the big orb in the sky. I must continue to apologise for the relative laxity of updates on this blog but the mind and body have been engaged elsewhere for most of the past week. Hopefully the holiday period will allow our new thoughts to settle and inaugurate a spring of blogging ecstasy.

Today I had a happy trip down memory lane visiting Uni Campus and even got to visit a very changed KSU premises. I got to meet some of tomorrow’s future. It’s same same but different out there. On the one hand I left the quadrangle convinced that there is a lot of enthusiasm among the students of today but on the other hand I was also convinced that this enthusiasm is being wrongly channelled. The usual suspects still rule the roost and the end result is that whether it’s SDM, Pulse or a third movement we are talking about there is very little “Thinking Different” going on and very much mimicking of a failed formula. The pity lies in the waste of potential and enthusiasm – but hope springs eternal and I am sure that not all is lost.

Another little bit of info that struck me is that seven years into EU membership very few students are eager to leave the island upon graduating. There seem to be many reasons for this – relationships, the rush to get into a job and of course, the rat race. Be that as it may I still cannot understand why the number of graduates who are eager to discover the world out there and take up the challenge are so few and far between.

I’m off to a family reunion now. There’s some kinfolk I have not seen for quite a while now and there will be much catch-upping to do. We’ll catch up with the social and political commentary later.

The Common Good Nazis

Austin Bencini has been busy spinning the “hurt” every single anti-divorce lobbyist must surely have felt when their position on the Common Good was equated to that of the Nazis. How bloody typical. “Twegga‘” (it hurts) is a common adjective in our Don Camillo and Peppone political parlance. It is a technique favoured by the politician who was dying for an excuse to avoid the subject matter and discovers that the opponent might just have thrown him a lifeline with some vague and spurious accusation. Twegga‘ is the political discussion equivalent of the footballer faking an injury and squirming on the ground in the hope of conning the referee into an undeserved send-off.

So there you have Bencini and the anti-divorce parade taking a break from the God Will’s It theories to switch to the sympathy approach. “We have been unjustly accused of being Nazis”. Not. From the little I have read of the yawn-inducing exchanges between the army for marriage and the battalion of the second marriage nothing could be further from the truth. It’s no as though the fact that equating the Nazi arguments for the common good to those of Austin Bencini will change anything from the actual substance of the debate. But Austin does not care about that does he? He cares about labelling his opponents as liars while squirming on the ground faking a career-threatening injury.

Now where’s the referee?

The Absurdity of Football Time

Football fan Patrick Galea penned this piece as a facebook note. It could very well have been entitled “the Theory of Relativity as Applied to The Game”. He has kindly agreed for it to be reproduced here as a sporty/geeky Zolabyte. Cheers. (and Forza Juve of course)

It is not a secret to football fans that the working of the clock during a game depends entirely on how many times the goal nets have been favourably hit. And if your own team’s net is to be hit at all, just hope that at the very least it is hit favourably, that is, on the right side. The right side, as it turns out in these cases, is always the outside. The reverse applies to the other net, of course, and the inside of that net is where the biscuit is at. That’s football for you: try and score one more than them; and if you are a fan, hope that your team keeps your afternoon in tact and scores one more than the others, those gutless, hate-inspiring evil bastards.

And there’s 90 minutes of that.

Or so they say.

In truth, the time available for favourable net-hitting is like a new-age yoga instructor: exists in another dimension, and has a penchant for flexibility. Like the king of frustrating retorts when all you seek is a straight-forward answer: “it all depends”. It goes to show that whoever coined the term ‘like clockwork’ was not thinking of football time-keeping. Chances are he never watched a competitive football match either, because time during matches goes into Alice-in-Wonderland mode and changes its rhythm and tempo according to the digits on the scoreboard.

There is no news there. That the experience of time is subjective is hardly a Nobel-winning discovery. Indeed, this sentiment is captured easily enough by such common morsels of wisdom as “time flies when you’re having fun” and “clocks go slow at the place of work”. The ruling principle is obvious, time seems to speed up when you’re enjoying yourself, but drags on infinitely when you are not. But as well as this general idea has served the humans in their daily business, it just does not apply to football.

Masochistic tendencies aside, the general assumption underlying this point is that fans, being supporters of a team, should be enjoying themselves when their team is winning, and by obvious logic, should hate it when it is not. You would think then that a winning team’s supporters, being joyful of a favourable score-line, would hardly notice the time going by. But it doesn’t work like that. Time does not fly when your team is winning, especially when that winning margin is one measly frustrating goal and the contest has reached its final segments, around that 80 minute mark. No, time does not fly. It sticks. It lurks. It hangs around idling as if it were a sunny Sunday in a picnic park.

Lest some brave soul dares suggest that the sudden decrease in the pace of time is merely an illusion brought on by a heightened awareness of the clock, I can assure them that it is not. Proof: when a fan’s team is losing by a goal to nothing, or an equally gut-wrenching goal difference, when every bad pass, throw-in, or a millisecond stop is followed by glances at the clock, when fans are basically watching more of the clock than the game, time does nothing that resembles slowing down. It goes faster than you can say “Is that five minutes already”? Hail the absurdity of football time. Unlike other life situations, favourable circumstances in football do not always make time rush, and unpleasant ones do not sedate time into co-operation.

Substituting hyperbole with a dose of realism for a second (or an hour, depending on the score), I guess that the absurdity of football time owes itself to the perennial contest between optimist and pessimist tendencies inside the football fan. Indeed, none of the above applies if your team has a cushion of several goals or if it is losing by some. And most definitely, none of the above applies if your favourite team is Manchester United, who are practically guaranteed to score in the dying minutes whenever they need to (Fuckheads!).

The hazy optimism of the possibility of scoring and the reality of diminishing time to allow it, as well as its counterpart, the persistent pessimism of conceding and the slow and ample time that makes it possible, are only triggered by a vague sense of realism that anything can happen in football. Indeed, the optimist and the pessimist inside the football fan eventually synthesize to become the realist, the fan who knows too well about the possibility, or the probability, that their team concedes in the dying moments of the match, who has surrendered all hope, who knows that the elusive last second goal that would win points for the team will only ever happen if it is immediately followed by a ridiculous raised flag on the side of the pitch. This is the beautiful game. A game which constantly pits pessimism against optimism and the umpteenth triumph of one over the other leaves the loser mysteriously unscathed.

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Zolabytes is a rubrique on J’accuse – the name is a nod to the original J’accuser (Emile Zola) and a building block of the digital age (byte). Zolabytes is intended to be a collection of guest contributions in the spirit of discussion that has been promoted by J’accuse on the online Maltese political scene for 5 years.
Opinions expressed in zolabyte contributions are those of the author in question. Opinions appearing on zolabytes do not necessarily reflect the editorial line of J’accuse the blog.
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The Times Blog

We may be working on slow mode thanks to the big move out of Lux City but that does not mean we have no time to note the big changes* in the Maltese Net World. The Times has chosen to wait for 11 days after the 1st of April to launch its spanking new online look. Thank the man in the sky for that otherwise we’d have suspected this was somebody trying to pull off another of those sophisticated pranks.

So here’s the new Times website lads… nothing more than a standard blog set up for 2011. Is that all they can do? Really? With all the resources at hand? I wonder who’s getting paid for this odd job… some lazy mutt with not much to think of beyond filching off standard templates that can be found on the net at the modicum price (prezz modiku) of 75$ (and that’s when you REALLY want to spend).

One of the greatest drawbacks of the new format will be that the ugly mutts of Bocca & Co will permanently feature at the bottom of the page like some eerie footnote.

Welcome to the Times 2011. It’s like J’accuse 2009… but darker….

*cheers to SL for the tip off.