The Horse's Mouth

One of the basic tenets of journalism that probably everybody and his brother has heard about is the principle of the 5 “W”s. It’s a concept that underpins the writing of a complete investigative answer by asking the questions “Who? What? Where? Why? and When?” and trying to provide an answer to all of them or an at least an indication as to why those answers were not immediately available. The additional question “How?” has occasionally been pinned onto the back of the original 5 Ws. In my last but one post “Don Paolo and the Recalcitrant Consiglieri” I started to track the “Nikki Dimech Gate” story and the reporting being made by MaltaToday on the subject. I tried to point out that the information being made available by the eager sleuths at MT is flimsy and lends itself more to unqualified speculation rather than presentation of hard and fast facts.

Now I am sure that MT’s sleuths have launched into the investigation with the best intentions of remaining the much needed breath of fresh air in investigative journalism that goes beyond the pure partisan aspects which we have gotten used to over the ages. I do not need convincing over this as much as I do not need convincing that MT has a mixed agenda of its own (known in polite circles as “editorial policy”) that merges market necessity (the need to quench public thirst for conspiracy theory style news/scandal – defined as any bit of news that provokes the reaction “X’gharukaza”) and a hazy political position that cannot be as easily and wittily summarised.

There is however something that Professors DeGaetano and De Marco would call a continuous crime of ommission occuring within this particular spate of reporting on DimechGate. While we should thank our lucky stars that there is a team of journalists who are interested in asking questions beyond the party spin and press release this does not mean that we – especially the newcomers to the Fourth Estate  such as bloggers – should not question certain vacuums in the line of thought. In the previous post we wondered why so much was being made on the supposed threat uttered by bungling PN SecGen PBO involving Dimech and a 72 year old councillors’ mother. Rationally reasoning out that threat brings out not two but three possible meanings:

1) We will eliminate your nonogenarian mother should you not comply with party policy (the mafia interpretation)

2) get off the bloody phone and talk with your mum later – we’re talking Dimechgate now (the impatient PBO interpretation)

3) we helped you rmum in so many ways and forget about that help if you persist in ignoring our position (the sleazy retraction of favours interpretation)

You will immediately notice that barring interpretation number 2 which is the milder of the three, the other two interpretations (Mafia and Retraction of Favours) qualify as forcible coercion to sign an impeachment motion. Now that is not something to be taken lightly. For PBO it could mean heaps of trouble – and I do not mean the contradiction in policy that was highlighted by the swift ostracisation of Nikki Dimech while still harbouring a 40 year old man being tried for sex crimes. Coercing a local councillor into signing a motion against his or her will is not just not kosher in today’s day and age but it could also have criminal consequences. Contrary to what public opinion may be on the subject, PLPN whips and Secretary generals are not the equivalent of their communist counterparts. They may give the impression that they can control everything under the sun (and some hidden hands like to think that they do just that) but the reality of the matter is that if we expect to be living in a liberal democracy in the 21st century then its local councillors should be free thinking human beings who can – if they so believe – go against the party line on a matter of principle.

So hurrah to MT for uncovering this particular phase. What happened next though continued to force me to question MT’s policies.  When councillor Camilleri was summoned to the police station for questioning, the knee jerk reaction on MT was to slap a title to the article that went on the lines of “PBO’s threat comes true as 72 year old councillor summoned for questioning by police”. I cannot link or quote verbatim because thankfully, it seems, there has been a rethink and the original title has changed. And there is an obvious reason for this. The reason is that no matter how much you may wish to toe the line that PBO has a hidden hand in police circles and that this DimechGate has been orchestrated from the start as some sort of elaborate frame up to rid Sliema of Dimech there is one fatal flaw in standing by this argument this time: PBO has absolutely no interest in having the police go  over his discussion with the Sliema councillor.

Somebody at the MT team must have noticed that because what I think is the new title to the article that appeared online yesteday is ”
Paul Borg Olivier worried as Sandra Camilleri gets called in by Police, after his threatening meeting with PN councilor”. (Yes, MT stick to their US English dictionary). Now that’s more like it. Which really means that the police have been acting very kosher all along. I have no particular interest in defending or attacking the police corps but hey you cannot blame them for investigating DimechGate from the start if there was a report of corruption by government officials and PN administration. You cannot blame the police either, for launching a possible investigation into the coercion of a public person involved in the administration of a local council. That fettering of discretion is an administrative crime and cannot be allowed to happen.MT has corrected its earlier eagerness to run along with the whole La Piovra & Don Paolo theory involving god knows what hidden hands in the process.

We are back to more rational lines where a number of questions are being asked rightly of our political system. This “mani pulite” phase in the short history of local council politics might involve the relative lightweights of PLPN politicking but it could turn out to be a valuable eye-opener as to the many no-nos committed in the name of partisan hegemony. Let us not forget that Nikki Dimech is being crucified for an alleged request for commission that would amount to a maximum of €240 (10 to 20% of €1200) and that Elizabeth Vella had to resign after receiving €80 that were not registered in the council’s accounts. By no means should such actions go unnoticed and unpunished (if you want to use that word) but this is still the same country where there is no rule on party financing and transparency and where the interests of contractors, investors and developers are curiously intertwined with the creme de la creme of our political high society (the heavyweights) right?

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Clueless at Bondiplus

This has to be the facebook quote of the week. After last season’s ‘controversial’ programmes Bondi+ will be back again with more of the topical, relevant and cutting edge investigative journalism. Don’t hold your breath though, judging by today’s facebook post we are in for another mind-numbing ride:

Lou Bondi: This is the time of year when I start getting a knot in the stomach: how can we come up with another 9 months worth of topics for Bondiplus? Then the knot goes away by mid-September and before I know it its June. 18 years in the business and the same thing happens every year.

Go figure.

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Don Paolo and the Recalcitrant Consiglieri

The heat of the summer and the explosive events have not detracted the team at MaltaToday (MT) from their persistence in turning the Nikki Dimech saga into another interwoven epic of a conspiracy theory. The state funeral of one of Malta’s most respected politicians and the Mosta fireworks bang spoilt the plans for the MT team who were probably counting on the boring period of Santa Maria to sell the conspiracy spin to the utmost. Lest you think we are about to make a full mockery of the MT news item regarding the goings on around the latest local councillor to be declared incompetent we beg you to hold your equines for a little longer.

The story as recounted by the eager wolves of MT is definitely more intriguing (and almost twice as credible) as the news coming from the sheep at Strickland House’s HMV (His Master’s Voice – known in some circles as the Times of Malta). First we had the allegations of illicit behaviour and financial misdemeanours at the Sliema local council. So far, so good. As local councils go these days financial embezzlement and general mishandling by those catapulted to the forefront of the local scene by the PLPN headhunters are becoming more and more commonplace. In this case it was young turk Nikki Dimech who was being investigated for a period of time. Things started to hot up when Nikki Dimech tried to organise an emergency council meeting to clear the air and demonstrated the unqualified naivety of an untutored renegade left up shit creek with no paddle and no organisational back up to speak of. Arrigo, his mentor in Sliema, was nowhere to be seen at this point and the spinmeisters at Dar Centrali kept their distance.

Dimech’s failed meeting did take place some time later only to turn out to be a doctored meeting that had nothing of the “emergency” air that had been trumpeted earlier. The heavy hand of party interference (or guidance?) could be felt at that point though to say that the Sliema councillors were comfortable with the situation at that point would be tantamount to saying that Sliema Wanderers will one day have good odds to win the Champions’ League. So Dimech’s robotic address at the meeting was registered on camera a few days before he was summoned to the police station to answer a few questions.

Which is where Dimech’s (and the PN’s) Midsummer’s Nightmare starts – and where MT begins its party. First it was announced ad urbi et orbi that Dimech was admitting his guilt and that he had solicited commissions from a contractor (an Arrigo supporter to boot) for some council works. Information is thrown at the reader like an unfinished novel. What importance, for example, is the fact that the contractor in question is a supporter of Arrigo (presumably this also means that he foots some bills in election time thanks to our lovely laws on party and candidate funding – whatever happened to the crime of lying on oath?)? The equation should have been – and is – Dimech is backed by Arrigo and hence should therefore be nice to Arrigo’s supporters. Iddardarx l-ilma etc etc…

Then there was the ploy of a frame-up with the collaboration of the men supposed to keep the law and order. Dimech’s friends (note: NOT DIMECH) were alleging that he was coerced to sign the confession and that such coercion included the denial of an all important inhaler. The police were the villains aiding an invisible hidden hand that had everything but the interests of Dimech to heart. Funny. Apart from the immediate police denials one would expect MT to ask Dimech himself whether his friends are being solidal out of disbelief or whether there was some truth in that story. Not really. Well so long as his friends say it.

Dimech in the meantime was holding on to his seat in the council. He refused to resign and stayed on as an independent councillor. Not many brownie points for someone who has just admitted his guilt to the men in uniform but since the law does not provide for his immediate impeachment then that got the PN in a twist. Our electoral laws do tend to get the PLPN in a twist in such situations since we do not really elect party people to councils or parliament but we directly choose our representatives. All the PN could do was Dimech from the party and take their distance which you can bet your bottom euro they did at the earliest opportunity. What was left was for the PN to get Dimech to let go of his mayoral post.

Which meant that Paul Borg Olivier had to reluctantly acknowledge that there is  more to local councils than preparing long lists of catch all candidates. He would have to leave the airconditioned office in Dar Centrali, postpone all trips on superyachts and meet the consiglieri. The point of all this meeting being of course the dismissal by vote of no confidence of Nikki Dimech from his mayoral post. MT’s investigative sleuths got wind of these meetings and were present at the Lady Di pub in Sliema when PBO met 72-year old Consigliera Sandra Camilleri.

As we learn in the article (Your mother or Nikki Dimech, Borg Olivier tells 72 year old councillor) , Madam Camilleri still enjoys the company of her own mother at the ripe age of 72. Don Paolo does not seem to manage to get Madam Camilleri away from the idea proposed by the “friends of Nikki Dimech” that there has been some sort of frame up. According to the journalist overhearing the conversation Camilleri sticks to the frame up idea rather obstinately and is reluctant to sign up to PBO’s plan to depose the tainted mayor. It is then that, according to MT, Don Paolo chooses to up the ante and comes up with a rather enigmatic phrase: “Your mother or Dimech”.

There is it is. A phrase reminescent of those Mafia style movies where the victim is told without any measure of equivocation that the life of another person depends on their making the right decision. It’s the classical offer they can’t refuse. But is it? The article in question is full of dropping of innuendos and includes a whole episode of PBO making a mockery of the councillor’s dedication to her agèd mama but surely the shady dealings of the PN inner sanctum do not include contract killings of aged women in old people’s homes (we presumed the latter fact). Premature termination of life cannot ever feature on the PN agenda – at least because it would be rather contradictory to the party line on abortion. So what did PBO mean with his offer? Even if we take the MT story with a pinch of salt (as you generally do since the MT does take to see the Sun or Daily Mail side of things) you are still left with a sort of hanging threat.

The only excuse we could think of was that PBO got miffed by Camilleri’s constant calls with her mother on mobile and that the phrase was an exhortation to concentrate on matters at hand: “Your mother or Dimech” sounds much less dangerous now. I sure as hell hope that  Paul can say that this is the case. Otherwise we really have gone to the dogs. I eagerly await the full version on the Sunday paper but in the meantime I really cannot shake the image of PBO and JP Debono as a PN version of Samuel Jackson and John Travolta sent on some business by Marcellus Wallace.

Pleasures yet to come eh?

The MT Video: As illustrative as a braille encyclopaedia

The Real Duo at Work: Big Kahuna Burger Coercion

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J'accuse : Lying in State

The Maltese narrative has lost one of its most famous personalities since Independence: Guido de Marco – lawyer, politician and professor – is with us no more and the state’s sons and daughters rightly mourn the passing away of one of their most respected brothers. I am not one for writing moving obituaries, particularly of the kind considered to be delectable (and politically correct) among us Maltese. Fear not though, this is not a prelude to some horrible piece of disrespect by this writer but rather a shying away from the clichéd echoes of prefabricated sashaying of respects.

I found last Friday’s editorial in the Independent (“Guido and all our past”) a perfect description of Guido the man beyond Guido the collector of honorifics and titles. It was, in fact, the appreciation of Guido the man – outside of his ‘cursus honororum’ – that struck the right chords for the natural non-conformist in me. I too share an admiration for what Guido the man built through his love for the law, his amiable personality and his perennial road of discovery for the middle ground preferably through what he came to describe as the politics of persuasion. It was this man – a man who I did not know well enough – who probably was “perhaps too big for this country”.

For I am sure that Guido must have carried his enthusiasm and love for society from his early forays into student politics over half a century ago and that he bore this throughout his magnificent career. The closest I could get to Guido was as my criminal law lecturer as he patiently broke down the principal tenets of criminal law phrase by phrase, principle by principle in that calm but deep voice and in that slightly irritable Italianate twist. “Italianate” might usually be better used to describe a style of architecture and not to qualify an accent that emphasises and complements the Latin side of our Arabic language but that too was Guido – using the parts of speech and tricks of the art of oration as building blocks to drive his persuasive truths home. In his hands, even an obvious statement could become the unravelling of a mysterious truth hitherto unknown.

La contrattazione dolosa

I will never forget Guido’s description of the elements of proof in a criminal case as the ‘pillars that hold up the arches of truth’. The reason for this particular memory is a short anecdote from my time as a law student. It was the ‘oral season’ some time in 1996 when football had gone home and students gathered around a hastily assembled TV screen in the CCT building watching some football match from the European finals in anticipation of being called to the next room for the oral part of the examination (all the while hoping that they will be able to recall Carrara’s definition of theft before slipping into naming Italy’s first XI).

Orals would proceed late into the day – oblivious to the more important goings on in the world of sport – and I think I remember a colleague of mine turning up for his oral examination in tears right after England’s elimination so it must have been late in June. Anyway, the moment I was called in to the dreaded room I tried to put all footballing thoughts behind me and concentrated on the task at hand. Prof. de Marco (for that was his guise that day) sat before me along with two other examiners and immediately tried to put this nervous student at ease with a warm welcoming smile.

The usual pleasantries over, Profs got to give the parting shot and he asked me to describe the importance of the elements of proof and evidence in criminal proceedings. It was that usual feeling of having won the lottery for I could still see Profs pacing up and down the lecture theatre delivering his explanation on the “pillars that hold up the arches of truth” full of metaphors and parallels that drove the idea home. Just before I launched into the same detailed description I had heard in class, Profs’ mobile phone rang and he politely excused himself and moved to the back of the room to treat what undoubtedly must have been a more important matter than a third year student’s recollection on the importance of evidence.

Di cosa altrui

So I launched into this whole metaphorical description when all the while the platform before me lay bereft of the most crucial and understanding of listeners. The remaining examiners tolerated me to speak on for a while as their jaws fell further towards the ground. At one point the chain-smoker of the examiners decided to put a stop to what he evidently considered to be a load of waffle (the robotic examiner nodded in consent) and decided to remind me that this was Criminal Law not Classic Architecture. All the while, the only person to whom my side references to columns and artistry could have made sense was still lost in conversation with his back towards me and only returned at the end of this curt admonishment.

By then I had lost my nerve and even failed to hang on to the safety net thrown at me when I was asked to define homicide and blurted out a memorised definition of theft instead. Guido looked at me with a mixture of pity and consternation, probably wondering what had happened during his short absence and how I had descended to such depths of criminal misery. The rest of the oral is a blur of squirming out of the deep pit I had allowed myself to be drawn into, but the biggest lesson I learnt from it was that the art of metaphors and oration is one thing and cannot be hastily copied by any Johnny-come-lately especially under the duress of an oral examination.

Fatta invito domino

Last Friday’s The Malta Independent editorial described Guido’s passing away as “leaving a gaping hole in our national consciousness”. Guido will not only be remembered by that gathering of acolytes who are as common to our political landscape as are backhanders and nepotism but he will be remembered by a whole nation that is still coming to terms with the concepts of justice and liberty that embodied the very struggle of which he was one of the memorable leaders.

The man that was probably too big for his nation embodied a set of values that you could clearly agree or disagree with. There was no shuffling of feet and hesitant murmuring of the dithering student under examination – there was instead a clear assertion and sense of purpose. It is not by chance that Prof. Guido de Marco was the man who submitted Malta’s application to the European Union in the full understanding that our place was at the heart of the European Community.

The “gaping hole” in our national consciousness is also reflected in the gaping vacuum among the new generation of politicians unable to follow in the giant steps of their state-forming predecessors. Clarity of values has been slowly and gradually supplanted with the opportunistic waving of flags, and the vocational side of political service has all but disappeared. It is a telling truth that one of Guido’s most quoted phrases these days is the one where he thanked the Maltese people for allowing him to serve them for 40 years. Service: a sadly maligned word that has lost its former glory in this world of ambition and egoistic fervour.

Con l’animo di farne lucro

Farewell then dear Professor. When the emotions have calmed and the memories have been sifted you will surely still be remembered as a great man and a great politician. You chose an awkward time to leave us Guido (not that you had much say I presume). As the calm of Santa Maria weekend approached, this island of constant oxymorons threw another of its irrequietous tantrums with another explosion that from above might have seemed to be a last salute to your memory. It was an explosion that reminded us that we will never learn and that this stable democracy might probably do with some strong leadership. One that every once in a while lays down the law for the good of the people – no matter how much they might grumble and whinge.

You left at a moment when the very branches of this democracy are being shaken to their ends. It is a moment when local councillors of all shades are learning that politics is actually a matter of service and not a business for gain and pleasure. It is a moment that cries out for innovators and visionaries to replenish the dying souls of the centres of ideology in this country of ours, when the very party in which you proudly obtained most of your achievements is very evidently subject to a struggle for a new updated identity.

We are at odds with ourselves on many matters Profs, still scandalised by streakers long past midnight when most of us are in bed while we choose to close our eyes to the many obscenities that happen in front of our noses. We attempt to attract all of Europe’s greatest gamblers to our virtual home while raging against the gambling machines in our villages. We marry and we separate, as has happened from the beginning of time, but some of us still believe that divorce will bring on some new Armageddon.

Carrara

As yet we still have not got an effigy of Guido cast in carrara marble somewhere on the islands. There will probably be a time when such a statue will be erected by admirers of this most respected of Maltese sons. We do not have to wait for this to happen though in order to be able to remember the heritage left behind by il-Profs. The subtitles in this article are a homage to the criminal law lectures he delivered (architecture and all). Read together, they form the classic definition of theft by the Italian author Carrara. (The wrongful removal of an object, done without the consent of the owner, with the intention to make a profit thereof).

It’s going to be a sombre Santa Maria weekend, at least that’s what it looks like from here. We might profit of this quiet as a moment of much needed reflection as the nation takes time to mourn the loss of one of its respected sons. Farewell Guido, we are honoured to have had such a great servant among us.

www.akkuza.com is in ferragosto mode. Blogging is sporadic from here till September.

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NippleJesus (something clever)

The reactionary movement to the restrictions on the freedom of expression has taken different forms and attracted its own limited amount (if we really want to navel gaze) of controversial moments. J’accuse came under-fire when we took the opportunity to highlight the relative futility of certain modes of protest in today’s day and ager – particularly with regards to the over-reliance on facebook clicks and petitions and on the resorting to the over-worked medium of marches in Valletta.

Our criticism was particularly harsh (and provocative) because this ‘anti-oppression & police-state‘ movement does not (and should not) concern a bunch of University students. At least it does not only concern them. The whole aspirant artistic and intellectual non-fraternity is also deep in the muck and our criticism was also a direct result of the disappointment registered seeing the paucity of reactionary ideas. This led to the usual pooh-poohing of bloggers who can only write “something clever” on their blog rather than march up Republic Street waving megaphones.

We also asked “who cares?” as this is a genuine worry that comes up time and time again. It is stronger in the case of art than in the case of politics for example for art does not even have a monopoly on 90% of the nation who look upon politics as another way to vent their cultural genetic tendency towards fanaticism. The worry is that not many people do and that the weakness of the challenge to the development of a police state is also due to the fact that so long as the people get the “panem et circenses” that they are used to then they will not protest if Virgil and Horace are locked up for obscenity.

One of the summer events last month in Luxembourg was an adaptation of a Nick Hornby short story called “Nipple Jesus“. The blurb on the agenda magazine described it as follows:

Via a monologue (sometimes humorous) given by a security guard whose duty it is to guard a museum work of art judged to be scandalous, a number of essential questions on the function of art and what should or should not be shown are raised.

Unfortunately the play was shown in Luxembourgish so I could not attend that particular performance but I did google the short story on the net. Now I do have some qualms about the copyright nature of the material but on the other hand the story is too good to be lost. You may find it in pdf version at this blog called “Tainted Canvas“. This is definitely school textbook material (yes with all the “fucks” and two “cunts” thrown in for good measure). The controversial painting in question is a huge mosaic depicting the suffering Christ on the Cross  (with emphasis on the suffering). The twist (and this is no spoiler) is that the mosaic is made of many photos of women’s nipples (“bizla” in Maltese).

Follow Dave the bouncer’s reasoning throughout the story and draw you own conclusions. I loved it. One of my favourite extracts is the bit where the bouncer reflects on the second wave of visitors – those who have come expressly to criticise the work of art having read about it (and having been provoked into not liking it) by the media circus.

Nothing much happened at first. A steady stream of people came in and looked, and a couple of them sort of clucked, but what’s really clever about the picture is that you have to get close up to get offended, because if you stand at the back of the room you can’t see anything apart from the face of Christ. So it makes the cluckers look like right plonkers, because they have to go and shove their nose up against the painting to see the nipples, and so you end up thinking they’re perverts. You know, first they have to ignore the sign on the door telling them not to go in, and then they have to walk the length of the room, and they go, “Oh, disgusting.” So they’re really looking out for it.

Magic. Read it. Now.

Nick Hornby giving a public reading at Central...
Image via Wikipedia

Blurb by Maskenada for the Luxembourgish performance:

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Tap versus Swipe

It may sound like the latest cartoon/video game produced by some Japanese tech company but it involves a much more mundane reality than that. iPhone owners will immediately sympathize with this most basic of iphoning dilemmas – do you prefer the tap or do you prefer the swipe?

Given the chance would you do away with the possibility of answering calls by having to swipe the bottom of the screen? Do you, like me, have an aversion to certain commands prompted by swiping on the iphone? Have you remained guiltily silent about the olympic difficult of performing a simple scroll on certain websites even when they have a mobile version?

I was reorganizing my app icons on the iphone last night when I stumbled upon a wonderful discovery. It was not as life changing as, say, the invention of sliced bread or the reorganization of KSU but in its own way it will have its positive effects on my standard of living. iPhone users will be familiar with the possibility of giving your iphone apps what seems to be like a collective epileptic fit by keeping your finger depressed on one of them long enough. Normally what happens next is that while the apps shake vigorously onscreen you are allowed to slide them around the different “pages”/”screens” of the iphone.

Well I was doing just that last night when I inadvertently and very serendipitously slid one app icon over another. What happened next caused my jaw to drop for a full five seconds before eventually getting over it with a shrug of the shoulder and a conclusion that such a development was inevitable. The app icons merged into one icon that – for want of a better word – we shall call a folder app. It collected the two previous apps in one and asked me to prompt it with a name for this Happy App Collective. Which I did. I called them news – because that is what the apps are about.

I then went about aggregating other apps together in the same manner and reduced the number of iphone screens to just two. That’s from an original five you know. That, my friends, is a victory for the tap over the swipe. For to access a different screen you need to swipe. To access a folder and then its various constituent apps all you do is tap happily away. And boy am I a happy tapper.

The main disadvantage with swipes is that they fail to take into consideration the grippy hand and the sticky screen. The iphone tends to gaze back at you fuzzily while it wonders whether you really meant the swipe or whether it was yet another endearing mini-hug being applied to the device that (to plagiarize Carlsberg) is probably the best handheld device in the world. iphone fails to note that our honeymoon period is over and that I am still fuming at its transformation into a senile degenerate ever since its new cousin (iphone 4) and the new OS (4.1) has entered the landscape.

At least taps are beating swipes. For now.

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