Rush on the Central Bank

The Times reports that there is nothing to worry about the queues forming outside the Central Bank. The picture taken by the Times shows a snaking queue outside the Valletta office of the Central Bank. Obviously the Times’ calming headline must be read in the context of the current economic scenario. Belgium for example is on tenterhooks as the Flemish and Walloon factions iron out their 2012 budgets with clear warnings that there will be spending cuts (as if the obligation of balancing a cabinet with 7 + 7 ministers sought from the linguistic divide was not enough). Standard & Poors has already delivered a sucker punch to the little Kingdom as the King tries to piece his Humpty Dumpty government together. Belgian radio news reported that there was still enough public confidence in government bonds but even this will not remain a given. Niall Ferguson penned an interesting futuristic article in the Times (UK) news review this Sunday speculating on the political break up of the EU and the formation of a United States of Europe (with a nod or two to the Hapsburgian influence on the process). The international specialist press is focusing on one thing and one thing only… will the euro survive and if not how long till armageddon.

Meanwhile in Malta there is a rush on the central bank.

To buy commemorative coins.

 

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Kangoo


One for the Letzeburg residents. I thought of using J’accuse to plug the better half’s more productive hobby/passion. For more information go to the site: www.kangoo.lu . I’ve tried the boots and believe you me… it’s fun (though too much exercise for the likes of couch potato/FIFA12 me). If you’re not in Luxembourg and would love to try the boots… well, that’s tough.

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Mock George that Week

In a previous life when Ghaddafi was still alive and celebrating his 40th anniversary…. fast forward to around 5 minutes 24 seconds… and see the bit about our President….There was “one Western Leader. Like Mugabe and the others were there but there was ONE Western Leader”…. (Don’t worry… it’s already doing the rounds on FB)

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J’accuse : That Bohemian Planet 51

Is this the real life? Or is it just fantasy?I think I’ve mentioned before the popular Chinese curse that involves wishing someone: “May you live in interesting times”. Well, it does not get any more interesting than this. French intellectual Jacques Attali (listed in the top 100 by Foreign Policy Magazine) has been quoted as saying that the euro might not survive Christmas – the common currency will drown sometime between Black Friday (that’s last Friday) and St. Stephen’s Day.Here is this week’s leader in “The Economist”: “The chances of the euro zone being smashed apart have risen alarmingly, thanks to financial panic, a rapidly weakening economic outlook and pigheaded brinkmanship. The odds of a safe landing are dwindling fast”. Help! I’ve added the “Help” bit (just in case the end-quote escaped your attention) and “Help!” is just the kind of default mode disposition you’d expect a normal citizen to have in this crisis-stricken period. At least “HELP”… if not “What shall we do about it?”During a lift conversation with a German work colleague of mine conversation shifted to things trivial (as it always does in elevators) so I asked her somewhere between the fourth and third floor whether she believed she’d be shopping in Deutsche Marks (or the German Dollar) come Christmas eve. She looked at me with the kind of resignation that Angela must have reserved for Silvio and said “I’ve stopped thinking about it. My grandma always said that you should always worry about things that you can do something about. If it’s got to happen, it will happen.” Ah. These practical Deutsche Mensch (und Womensch).Caught in a landslide. No escape from reality. You’d think that given the current circumstances even the nation that believes itself to be a planet of its own right would “come down to earth” so to speak. You’d think. Hollywood must have taken up the offer of Tonio Fenech’s new residence scheme and is now a permanent part of our lives thanks to the screenings offered by our supposed leaders and leaders to be. The purveyors of fiction from all sides of the house have contrived to collude in the creation of a mind-boggling, reality-twisting cocooned fantasy carrying along with them most of the citizens of Oz.

Tonio Fenech gave the nation its budget not so long ago. Since then the Prime Minister has taken it upon himself to ignore the accusations of doctoring of figures (and such wondrously magickal words as capital expenditure) and concentrated on proving how under his leadership Malta is weathering the storm. My question (since questions seem to be the order of the day) to Prime Minister Gonzi would be: Has Malta decided to think like my German friend and opted to concentrate on matters that are within its control? So we can’t save the euro but what is our plan for the crisis? If so what is our default plan for the day the euro dies? Do we need one? Surely not everything is “Ward u Zahar”. (Sweet smelling roses).

I’m sorry to be the one to ask PM Gonzi this question but the PM-in-waiting seems to be busy working on Malta’s first ever space program. Or so I gather from the evidence that is available. Well yes. I am about to criticise “Inhobbkom Joseph” again. I was told more than once this week that since my return from my nuptial escapade I seem to be digging my critical talons deeper into Joseph’s flesh than is to many a Labourite voter’s liking.

Open your eyes. I had quite an argument with Bertu the cartoonist this week. After I had, as usual, described the toon that I would require to accompany this week’s article he challenged me to convince him first that Joseph Muscat deserved more attention (and picking on) than the Gonzi government (and budget). Hot on the heels of his objection came one or two comments on facebook accusing the Great J’accuse of not balancing his repartees out and “picking on Labour too often”. Like it’s a game. I cannot stand this bloody “mhux fair” reasoning.

Here’s one reason that should suffice. Joseph Muscat wants to be the leader of this country. “Iss, imma Gonzi IS the leader now” I hear them object. Fine. What the Labourite advocates of par condicio (balanced criticism) fail to realise is that my concentrating on Muscat and what he has to offer implies a decision to not consider the “GonziPN” option next election. Yes dears. The average non-flag waving voter would have to go through that mental process that begins with thinking “So. I do not like what the Gonzi government has done for X reasons so I will definitely not be voting him back into government. Let’s see what “the others” have to offer”.

Look up to the skies and see. Well yes folks. As i put it to Bertu, if I have a stomach ache or an ulcer that is bothering me I do not reach for my grandpa’s old hunting rifle and aim in the general direction of my navel. Yes, you’ve guessed it – a gastroenterologist will do the trick most times. So if you believe that there is a problem, studying the right solution is not an exercise in “opposition bashing” but a careful check to see if there really is someone better to take the reins of the country into his hands. And tough shit for your dreams of a flag fest and carcade if the tests prove there isn’t.

Anyway the wind blows doesn’t really matter to me. So as the Labour-lites were showering plaudits on their Dear Leader for his supposedly wonderful performance in producing a larger number from his hat than did Lawrence Gonzi (51 beats 10 –  booyakasha, raspberry and italian ombrello for good measure) J’accuse and plenty another pundit actually contrived to read the 51 “proposals”. For our reaction please refer to the post “51 proposals from another planet” on www.akkuza.com.

We were not amused. There was a children’s movie that goes by the name of Planet 51. The first words of the trailer describe another planet “Somewhere far, far away. There is a place where life is simple. Children are care free. And everything is pleasant”…. Planet 51. Muscat’s 51 “proposals” were written for this kind of planet. A planet oblivious to the universe around it where “everything is pleasant” and a few catch phrases (not to mention empty phrases like “We’ll give priority to fishing and farming” or “Youth before bureaucracy” – did they forget “Age before beauty?”) are supposed to magic away everyone’s woes.

Easy come easy go. Right before Tonio Fenech’s budget speech we were regaled with the sad scene of opposition bench members “daring” the government to mention the European crisis. You could see them ROTFL-ing and LOL-ing every mention of Greece, Spain and the European instability. After the budget we got Joseph Muscat’s proposals that are so intangible and detached from actual workability that they might as well be from another planet. Planet 51. Yet the nation remains divided and it is evident from reactions on the net that the mental sieve that is required by your average voter in order to make weighted choices is conspicuous in its absence. The next election is round the corner, there’s a record-breaking economic crisis out there and we still vote on the basis of tribal instinct.

Got to leave you all behind and face the truth. It may be jarring for many who would love to see the back of the Gonzi government that some like myself persist in surgically dissecting the Muscat option. We get called “armchair critics” (iss how easy) by people from both sides of the spectrum. In this case it is our realism that hurts. What we see from here is a nationalist party that is shedding most of its uncomfortable elements – JPO announced that he will not run again (will Labour woo him too?), Austin “Bulldozer” Gatt is on his way out and meanwhile there is a never-too-late rereading of the Basic Principles.

Muscat meanwhile is fast becoming a predictable populist puppet of easy words and shallow promises. Which does not mean they will not work. It takes big balls to prioritise your desire to run a country above the need to have a plan of how to run it once you’re actually in the driving seat. Big balls or a particularly devious mind driven by ignorance. Is this really a little silhouetto of a man we are seeing before us? One for whom nothing really matters, anyway the wind blows so long as it gets him to Castille?

In the end, when the curtain falls it is up to the audience to applaud or to boo. Joseph Muscat gave us 51 proposals in answer to Lawrence Gonzi’s 10 questions. If you are willing to believe that the 51 proposals are the solution that this country needs in these interesting times then you deserve a Labour government. Those who don’t believe the 51 proposals don’t deserve a Labour government, but at the rate populist feeling is going it seems that they’ll get it anyway.

That. In short. Is the beauty of democratic government.

www.akkuza.com has always been biased. We declared a journalistic passion for questions and a search for answers as from the beginning. Which makes us biased in our quest for the truth. This article is dedicated to the memory of one of the great philosophers of the twentieth century: Farrokh Bulsara a.k.a Freddie Mercury.

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Thatcher

Here’s an old style diary-blog and it’s all dedicated to a cat. This blog had kicked off at a time when another cat was around. J’accuse can proudly announce the arrival of a new feline in the household. The wife needed someone to depend on when facing the myriad dangers of living in a castle surrounded by a forest. The early appearance of curious rodents peering from holes in the fireplace structure meant that we had to act now and act fast. I decided to surprise the better half with an early Christmas present (that way there will be no need to carry the stuff on our honeymoon). I searched far and wide in every refuge for animals  (or “asile” as they are called here) for an appropriate cuddly companion that would instil fear in the hearts of intrepid rongeurs.

Originally I had my heart set on a kitten that could be brought up and formed in the hybrid Montessori/J’accuse method that results in a feline that acts canine in all but appearance. I was then told that a newborn cat was likely to (a) render null all our efforts hitherto to decorate the home with lovely furniture and (b) take a long time to get used to its secondary objective of mouse-hunter. Pied pipers being short on the market now I had to switch to looking through the youth of the refuge and my eyes were directed onto a tiger-looking three-year old who had already suffered two false starts in other households. All she needed to do was reach out a paw and the cold-hearted J’accuse melted in an instant.

There you have it. The cat was taken home and the wife, still in the throes of post-nuptial ecstasy and post-nepotic enthusiasm had to suddenly deal with new rushes of enthusiasm thanks to the furball presently installed in our house. Our wallets and plastic cards have a new enemy to add to the list after the various Desiguals, ASOS, Amazon, Play, and iStores. It is now officially “pamper-the-animal” season and we have already had a preliminary sortie to buy the “basics”. Baptism-wise the cat supposedly came with a name – “Kettchen” to be exact. However cats are really voice-activated, and like an eskimo with custard in his ears they don’t really care what you call them (so long as there is food and drink available). That explains our decision to rebaptise the cat. The wife opted for something phonetically similar but deeply imbued with meaning.

Hence Thatcher. The Iron Puss with feelings.

 

Post Scratchum: Before I forget. If you do live in the Duchy and are thinking of adopting an animal for life this Christmas do pop over to the people at www.asile.lu in Dudelange. There’s loads of lovely dogs and cats waiting for you to take them home and make them feel loved….And have you spend loadsamoney on the net for humanised treats for four-legged creatures.

 

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51 proposals from another planet

The challenge has been launched. The gloves are up and the million dollar question has been put on the table (and is now a guest at the myriad “talk shows” on our TV’s and radios). Joseph “Inħobbkom” Muscat has put an end to his party’s reticent “cards-to-the-chest” policy and finally announced the 51 proposals that are described as “positive and concrete”. It’s all down to a game of numbers – Gonzi asks 10 questions – he gets 51 answers. Beat that Gonz.

Woe betide he who decides to actually read through the 51 “proposals” and tries to make out how this can be the blueprint for an accountable plan for managing Malta’s future. This is a list that lies long and thin.

Lies – because the sum total is proof that it is marketing above substance, a clumsy attempt by “think tank” apparatchiks to sound sophisticated and clue-full.

Long – because in the mistaken belief that the long numbered list will be enough to con even the intelligent observer, it is evident that whoever sat around the table to pow-wow this thing went through great lengths to add as many “proposals” as possible.

Thin – because the depth of thinking required to come up with this kind of pie-in-the sky ideas belongs somewhere down the evolutionary scale between the amoeba and the sponge.

If you find me insulting then you have not read the proposals yet. Why 51? Easy because 50 would be too obvious… they probably think that 51 sounds like a number casually reached. A while back I got think-tank man Aaron Farrugia in a twist because I criticised the tautological vision of Joseph Muscat about university’s role in society (something about how a university should be a centre of learning). I spoofed it with “Sajjieda ghandhom jaqbdu hut frisk u bdiewa ihawwlu frott tajjeb“. Aaron “unfriended” me for my efforts. No big loss. Then came “Proposal 45” – “Importanza mistħoqqa lill-biedja u sajd“.

Declaring your belief in Airmalta (35) is not a proposal. respecting Maltese and Gozitan “investors” (30) is not a proposal. Youth before bureaucracy (26) is a bumper sticker gone wrong but not a proposal. Promising not to give out government contracts that do not respect worker’s rights (16)  is not a proposal – (a) it should be implied in any government, and (b) there are laws and directives that prevent this happening anyway. “Gvern li jkun safe ghal businesses u negozji” (5) is not a proposal, it’s sounds like an advert for companies to store their cash in some government vault. Citizens getting a good and timely service from the courts is not a proposal if you don’t say HOW and WHY you will bring this about (47). Idem Better security in entertainment areas (49).

It doesn’t end does it? These are not proposals for a government in waiting. They’re proposals from another planet. Planet 51.

And if for one minute you thought that the 51 proposals make sense and are a credible plan for electing Labour. Then you deserve a Labour government.

That’s the beauty of democracy – you get the government that YOU deserve.

 

Planet 51 (Trailer) from Roberto HG on Vimeo.

 

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