The Half-Baked Interview

So, we’ve been noticing that other blogs (Ramonadepares that’s you) have been going off interviewing bands in general and in particular. The last interview with the greatest band to hit Malta since the Beangrowers demiscegenated into something new got our attention. Here at J’accuse we like to do things strangely every once in a while – a bit like our obsession of using the “we” instead of the “I” – and we thought “Hey, we want an interview with the Shh! too”. So we sent a set of questions to the better better half of the band who incidentally happens to be a very good copy of Mirko Vucinic and said clone of Montenegran genius obliged us with answers.

So. Ladies and gentlemen. Here is our half-baked interview with Ian Schranz the handsome man in the band the Shh! Also, may I add that the photo was unceremoniously stolen from another musician’s posterous collection – a certain Oliver the D. There.

1. Why?
It was an accident, i promise.

2. Bovril or Marmite?
Bovril when sick… marmite when healthy

3. Christina Hendricks or Dite von Teese?
Christina mamma mia!

4. Pastizzi or Ftira?
open rictotta pastizz in a ftira, cooked. ! 2012 (c) Ian Schranz

5. (complete the phrase) music is ….

….the sound cows make to say that they’re unwell…
… … (so so so bad… .. but almost a eureka moment….)

6. (complete the phrase) mike spiteri is….

probably still alive and healthy hatching his plans in an underground
bunker in the Nevada Desert.

7. (complete the phrase) Peter and Jane…

meet a horrendous end, when Peter failed to notice that the truck was
signaling to go right..

8. Subbuteo is for sissies. Discuss.
Real men play Scrabble!
9. If Men are from Mars and Women from Venus … homosexuals are from….
the rings of saturn…

10. When?
it was at about 10:30am.. i was at church…

 

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Allons enfants de l’austerity

Some required reading from today’s Figaro. Unfortunately the editorial is still not available online for non-paying members so I have typed out the main quote. We will see more of this in tonight’s debate between Francois Hollande and Sarkozy  but what is more interesting is how the main thrust of the problems that will be debated is a universal set of issues that apply Europe-wide.

Last time round the nationalist party cloned Sarkozy’s slogan “Ensemble, tout est possible” (Flimkien kollox possibli). This time we might see some more inevitable parallels. France’s “progressive” left built around anti-Sarkozyism is running a campaign built on “Hope”.

Hollande has promised employment and work but while his appealing rhetoric might sound great for the anti-austerity crowd it has already attracted the worried stares of the financial markets. Sarkozy is basing his challenge on facing the stark reality of failed models and failed economies.

May day’ speeches in Malta might be a taste of similar things to come closer to home. Joseph Muscat’s hope and rhetoric still fails the basic test of “Show me the money”. Combine that with his pre-hedging regarding “Hofra Mark 2012” (or the gap in finances he will obviously be surprised to discover once he is elected PM) and you seem to be getting a perfect clone of François Hollande.

There is much more to be read into this and I will do so as soon as I find the time. Here is part of Le Figaro’s editorial. For an amusing reading try replacing NS with Lawrence Gonzi and FH with Joseph Muscat.

“(NS) a défendu un nouveau modèle français, fondé sur un constat d’évidence : la mondialisation bouscule tout, tout est donc à repenser si on ne veut pas etre englouti. Le viex modéle social, perpétuellement financé à crédit, ne tient plus la route. Si l’on ne fait rien, il s’écroulera bientot. (…) (FH) connait bien le problème de fond de sa campagne. Il promet des choses qu’il ne pourra tenir, puisque tous les créanciers de la France – la fameuse “finance” – l’observeront seconde par seconde.”

(watch the video top-right from 14 minutes)

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The “after” party

In parliament it’s been reduced to a question of motions and counter-motions. While the nation fakes a collective breath-holding session as the MP’s battle out the latest round the few who can be bothered set up impromptu betting odds as to what will happen next in the drawn-out Debono saga. In the press we have the usual white elephants – from the White Rocks Sports Complex that resurfaced a few weeks ago to the Feasibility Plans for Bridges to Gozo.

All the while the business of government is stalled and hedged because the money bills have not been voted and because – let’s face it –  every other moment is being dedicated to secret strategy meetings (pace Maltatoday) that are about as secret as whatever Jeffrey Pullicino Orlando has had for lunch or Owen Bonnici’s latest hobby. The opposition is busy painting the state of the nation as one floundering in abject poverty, expensive bills and of course mention has now begun to be made of the debts and holes that this government will bequeath to its successor. Mais bien sur.

While the circus is in full force the world around the navel-gazing isle is on a rapid mission of the “change or bust” kind – one that cannot afford to give a rat’s arse about arty farty obvious promises in the form of Joseph Muscat’s latest populist mantras. Whether the circus lasts till June or October one thing is for sure. There will be an end to the party. After that it will be down to the business of governing in a time of austerity.

Speculation is rife that this spring could end up being a hot European spring politically with the anti-austerity wave finally taking the European leaders heads-on. A Hollande vicotry in France and a failure by Merkel to push on with further measures could risk spelling disaster for the fragile instability that currently is a European reality. Within that perspective – and outside the childish noise of the four walls of our Franco-led parliament – the future looks daunting.

Will our parties take the realist approach and moderate their promises in the run up for an election? Will they participate in a much needed eye-opening campaign for voters to appreciate the realities of the world beyond the shores of San Pawl-il Bahar and Mellieha? Or will they proceed with their pie-in-the-sky populisms feeding off a skewed view of the world and the immediate economic ills?

At this rate, the after party promises to be uglier than the mother of all hangovers.

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When Franco is history

Back in January when Franco Debono’s rumblings had set everyone on edge and prepared a nation for a snap election that never was J’accuse was busy pointing out that the fascination about all things Franco would soon be overshadowed by much more pressing concerns. The national fascination with the controversy surrounding snap elections and the precarious nature of one-seat majorities is a manna and a blessing in disguise to both political parties.

So long as your average citizen is overcome by an all consuming interest in following Franco’s every step and second guessing the next election date, the PLPN circus can continue to fake their preparedness for the forthcoming election. With that kind of perspective whether we are in for a snap June election (as seems highly unlikely) or whether Gonzi’s government will drag on to an October grande finale should actually become a secondary issue.

Sure, Labour can get its political mileage on such slogans as “iggranfat mas-siġġu tal-poter” as much as the PN can retort with the less effective”kilba għall-poter ta- Joseph“. The political battles are fought on the immediate: the power struggle, the stretched interpretations of representative malaise that result from the tweaked electoral rules, the Labourite quest to redesign Malta as a reverse Potemkin village, the Nationalist attempts to portray the world as an ok place to be if Franco didn’t exist…

Forget programs and plans for the future. The parties can avoid that completely. Ours it is not to know what measures will be taken by the next tenant in Castille. Once Franco is history and the elections have come and gone what is the program for the nation? We pointed this out in January and nothing has changed since then. The same questions can be asked of the same people.

Here are some snippets from January’s posts as reminders:

Windows of Opportunism

Muscat’s Labour seems intent on repeating GonziPN’s fatal error of 2008. They prepare for some sort of electoral victory but is this a party that is proving that it has the right credentials to govern? The smokescreen of the Franco saga might invigorate Labour hopefuls and build their hope for a change in government. The removal of the power weary Nationalists would not come a moment too soon for them. The mistake they make is that they equate the satisfaction of removing an expired government with the automatic assumption that anyone who steps in by default will be good for the job.

That Constitutional Question

Even though our political parties operate on the assumption that “loyalty” is universally automatic they have now been exposed to the democratic truth that it is not. The failure is not of the system but of the arrogant assumption that the bipartisan mechanisms that the parties have written into the constitution will guarantee their permanent alternation. Franco’s methods might be obtuse and distasteful especially when they betray blatant and crude ambition but on a political level the renegade politician who disagrees with the party line was not only predictable but threatens to become a constant in the future.

Malta Post-Franco I

The biggest surprise for J’accuse was that many people were surprised at the outcome. That there were many (many) men in the street still crossing their fingers rooting for Franco to vote in favour of the confidence motion was acceptable.That it became increasingly evident that the Labour party actually had hoped for this to happen exposed new levels of naivety within the party’s strategists.

There were less sighs of relief from the Nationalist party end but this was probably more due to the fact that they were fully aware of some sort of deal with Debono that had avoided the worst. The nationalist party would live to govern another few days but the exercise of damage limitation had not avoided multiple bruising and the attempt to portray any sense of triumphalism that Joseph’s side had been “defeated” would only expose a shallowness and falsity that aggravated matters further. The cracks had just got wider and hell did they know it.

Malta Post-Franco II

What next for Debono? It remains to be seen whether the nationalist party will play out their part of the deal that won them a temporary respite from the Debono tsunami. His role within the party is imperiled if he fails to obtain the right to present himself as a candidate for the next election. Technically his career should be over: “sacrificed” as he likes to put it, for the greater good. Ironically he might be a magnet for the kind of voter that liked his shit-stirring antics and who would rather vote a maverick than vote labour. That kind of voter believed Franco’s promises of reform and is the kind who would have loved Franco’s swan song in parliament.

Debono’s fate is intrinsically tied to the decisions that the party that he claims he loves will take in the near future. If the PN once again will be in the business of assembling a rag-tag group of disparate candidates then he might be in on the off-chance that his Champion of the Disgruntled image wins him a few number 1s. It will be a hard struggle though and until the next elections Debono might still have the last word in precipitating a Nationalist party decision to go to the polls.

The Age of the Generalissimo is, in all probability, almost over.

 

Malta Post-Franco III

Buying time also means buying time for the government projects that were coming to their end to be finalised. There will inevitably be accusatory fingers pointed at projects and laws finished and enacted on the eve of an election. Honestly speaking most would have been end-of-term projects anyway and would have suffered the same fate. That is not the biggest problem for GonziPN. The biggest problem is that this  ”leadership race” is the last-ditch reaction by Lawrence Gonzi and worse, an insistence on engaging within the “presidential” context dynamic. What remains to be seen and what is of paramount importance for the party is whether it is learning from the past mistakes. To do so it has to acknowledge them humbly and prepare to rebuild from scratch.

2012 is many political light years away from 1989. It might still not be too late for the nationalist party to make an appointment with history and use this latest borrowed time to take up real politics (not realpolitik) once again. For that it needs less noise, less drama, less taste-based propaganda and bull and to concentrate on the substance. Values, policies and a bottom-up realisation that this is the time to face new challenges within new parameters might only just make it.

Will fate throw another lifeline for the PN and spare it the (by now very necessary) years of rebuilding in opposition? We can only hope that if it does then the Nationalist party gets down to the real business of politics.

Malta Post-Franco IV (Labour)

Much like gonziPN in 2008, Labour are fashioning a campaign around the promise of one man: Joseph Muscat. Once you get over the noise about “Instability”, “gonziPN’s dismantlement”, “Inefficiency” etc, once the whole fracas surrounding Franco’s last hold on government is over… you will be left with the naked truth. Two parties geared up for election. What is Labour promising? Joseph Muscat that’s what. Peel away the complaints and the only inkling of a plan you have is a “vision” held closely to heart by Joseph Muscat. They tell us they trust him. On what basis? Because he SAYS he can run a country? On what principles? With what reference point?

After Franco we got a Labour party beating its chest ready for action. Franco’s shenanigans required that parties showed themselves prepared: just in case. To the observer on the sidelines – not particularly bothered with partisan flag-waving – it was evident that Labour was nothing but a party of words and slogans. I know you won’t believe me so here are three random interventions from Labour’s General Council. Chris Fearne, Chris Cardona and David Farrugia Sacco take to the podium. Do they mention one… just one… idea they might have as a basis for change? Honestly… beyond the plaudits for Joseph and the list of grievances (legitimate as they may be) is one of these potential election candidates telling us anything except that they trust in Muscat’s vision?

Lawrence Gonzi’s ridiculous show of leadership challenge and defence (the Soviet acclamation?) might have bought time for the nationalist party to get its act together for the eventual battle. Meanwhile Labour could do well to keep the public opinion momentum going with the drum beating it loves to impress… but it would also do well to come up with some homework pretty soon because if we were into voting for visions then we’d have Angelik as Prime Minister.

see also : Iacta est?

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Cheap noodles and les nouveaux pauvres

Marie Louise Coleiro Preca II is not the name of a boat. It is the name of MLCP’s second facebook page that was started after the first one was oversubscribed. Marie Louise Coleiro Preca II shared a post with Marie Louise Coleiro Preca about a meeting that was held at the PL club in Fgura where the subject seems to have been the “energy poor” and someone liked this post today so it came to my attention. These are not, as you might presume, people who are experiencing strong withdrawal symptoms from their last intake of Red Bull but rather a newly defined class of poverty that has been created by… you guessed it… GonziPN’s exorbitant energy bills.

A woman with respiratory problems, who had an electrically-operated oxygen tank at home, ate cheap noodles every day to be able to afford her utility bill, Labour health spokesman Marie Louise Coleiro Preca said yesterday. (…) “There are people who are energy poor. I spoke to a woman from Cospicua last week. She needs an oxygen tank at home to live. She just about passes the means test, so she’s not entitled to the energy benefit. She told me she can only afford to eat noodles,” Ms Coleiro Preca said.

There is something surreal about this kind of presentation. It probably has a lot to do with Labour’s generally bungled way of public relations and transmission of information. You cannot help but wonder how comfortable Joseph Muscat, Anglu Farrugia and the other geezer from the triumvirate of oxymoronic progressives can be with having their mugshot plastered on the walls of Kazini under the ubiquitous torch like some latter day Stalinist cult. There under the pictures of the future saviours of the nation sat the survivors of a not too distant socialist government plugging the narrative of the “new poor” – les nouveaux pauvres.

Marie Louise Colerio Preca II was armed with stories of the quasi-poor who “just about pass their means test” (the rare kind of test one would rather fail) and therefore cannot claim any energy benefits. So the nouveaux pauvres are condemned to eating “cheap noodles”. Do they even realise what it is they are writing? Stop for a second and think. “Cheap noodles”. As against bloody what? Gourmet noodles? And why noodles? Does noodles sound poorer than pasta asciutta?

Cue the erstwhile troubador of great socialist lore Joe Debono Grech who, once the list of nouveaux pauvres esquisses was done, ” called on his party to reach out to people by teaching people about the history of the party that worked so hard to fight poverty”.

There is something plastic about all this. Which is not to say by far that the tough economic times have not hit the people where it hurts. It is not to say either that the noodle woman shares the same problems as, say, Times columnist Kenneth Zammit Tabona who recently also complained about the exorbitant figures that turn up on his utilities bill. It’s just that Labour seems to be willing a fantasy land of misery – a potemkin village in reverse. There under the watchful eyes of The Three Leaders Who Will Guide Us In The Battle Against Poverty, the stakhanovist socialists of yesteryear spun the narrative of les nouveaux pauvres creating the new oppressed who will need a new socialist, progressive spirit to lead them out of damnation.

Fgura election prospective candidate Charles Agius joins in with enthusiasm:

(he) said that during home visits he met families who had their electricity supply suspended because they did not pay the bill. They took their children to their neighbour’s house to use the computer.

See the concept of the bare essentials? Under a previous patch of “utility poverty” (still living memory for many) you would have said that following the latest water and electricity cut parents took to filling buckets of water from the sea and kids went to bed early in the dark. Nowadays the nouveaux pauvres first thought is where to get access to the closest working PC. Plus ca change.

This is not a post that denies the existence of hard up situations in our midst. It is a post that looks at the instrumentalisation of what might be desperate cases in order  to spin an opportunistic narrative with no solution in sight. Labour is doing its damned best to redefine the goalposts by creating this new social strata which we can define as the nouveaux pauvres. Forget the middle classes or the pepe – hamalli divide. The pigeon-holeing is now strictly concerned with the reclassification of the grumbling masses into a reversed potemkin village of nouveaux pauvres. It suits the whole narrative well enough so long as the gullible and partisan are the ones being targeted.

Still. Cheap noodles?

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I.M. Jack – the Monday Progressives

Short notes from the weekend.

Marine – Le Pen got 20% of the votes in yesterday’s first round scrutiny in France. Francois Hollande (complaining left) will battle it out with Nicholas Sarkozy (exhausting right) in the next round of votes that will determine the next Monsieur le President. French radios are all abuzz this morning about the record number of votes that Le Pen’s extreme right obtained as though this signifies anything other than a strong meeting point for an angry protest vote. The main problem for Hollande and the progressive anti-Sarkozy coalition he will probably amass for the showdown in two weeks time is the same as that of most left-leaning oppositions around Europe: the absence of a plan. A campaign that is built on disgruntlement and anger at the economic crisis and at the perceived arrogance with which the right handled such crisis can work to get a party into power: the next step of what to do with that power is equally important though and that is what is so worrying about the so-called progressive movement.

Sondages – An archaic law in France prohibits the media from announcing the results of exit polls before eight in the evening. In the past Belgian and other francophone media such as Swiss and Luxembourgish have been used to circumvent this prohibition. This year a number of French publications will be facing court procedures for having dared to publish the results by seven in the evening. A full hour before most polling stations closed.

Disgruntled votes – Le Pen’s followers are already talking about “pegging their nose and voting left”. Nose pegging is fast becoming a trend in the anti-voting that takes place in modern democracies plagued with a dearth of propositive policies. It would seem that the aim of most voters is simply to avoid giving another term to Sarkozy – few votes are used to vote positively, for someone with a plan. Even Le Pen’s voters are prepared to vote for the much detested left so long as Sarkozy and his UMP are broken up. So much for solutions to the ills of the 21st century.

The Value of Human Life – Newspaper reporting of the fine accorded to contractors whose “work” had brought about the death of an elderly woman in Sliema risks being very misleading. The fine of €8,000 is ridiculous and nowhere near being the proverbial “prohibitive” which is what fines are meant to be. It was meted out under rules and laws that apply to work conditions. That those rules need to be revised immediately to be more than a prohibitive warning for contractors is patently evident. On the other hand the fine has nothing to do with the value of the life of the woman who lost her life in these circumstances. The Times report actually referred to other civil cases in progress and one can presume that this is a civil compensation case – the kind of case that actually quantifies the losses for relatives as well as for injured persons. Controversial as such judgements on the value of life may be (do read The Price of Everything) they are a very different kettle of fish from the “fine” that has hit the news and misguided so many people.

Quatrains – On a footballing note it is interesting how following yesterday’s trouncing of Roma, the media tried to focus on the minor incident between Lamela and Lichsteiner. Even more interesting were the attempts of some Romanisti to condemn the Swiss for his “unwarranted provocation”. What was he guilty of doing? The very same thing supercapitantotti had done eight years ago to Igor Tudor… only that time, since Totti was not (heaven forbid) wearing the glorious striped colours it was not a provocation but a saintly gesture. Relativism. It’s everywhere. Quattro e a casa.

 

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