In which J’accuse marvels at the mind-numbing effect that the retiling and relighting of a square has on “the people”.
Every now and then a bit of news comes along that serves to remind us that we are after all a very tiny island with a small population that is the size of a medium town in most European countries. The fanfare around the inauguration of the re-looked (I know the verb exists in Frog so it must exist in Rosbif) Saint George’s Square is a definite case in point.
J’accuse has often poked fun at the manner in which governmental achievements that would occur without so much as a bat of an eyelid in any other country are somehow portrayed and treated in a manner deserving of a new Renaissance complete with patrons and cultural savants. It is thus that a ribbon cutting exercise in some obscure alley in Hal Bubaqra by nothing less than a Minister and a set of VIPs (Malta standard) is never a tongue in cheek exercise but a very serious manner – often completed with commemorative bronze plaque.
Ours is the country that “inaugurates” freshly tarmacked roads, has mini-festivals for the opening of “gardens” the size of some people’s back yards, puts “monuments” on roundabouts on our closest equivalent to highways and given the chance calls on a Minister and the Armed Forces to uncover a newly painted bench on a promenade. We take it so seriously that we are lost in a wonderland of awe every time a streetlight turns up and some Minister or other natters away about urban planning or the likes.
As I was saying, Piazza San Giorgio and the circus-like inauguration tops the bill of this crazy carnival of the politcally grotesque. The powers that be finally discovered enough balls in their pants to (a) remove all the cars and (b) kill the karozzin guys (it’s the only way, believe me) and (c) find a basic budget to retile the square, erect two lampposts and put a few holes in the ground out of which a bit of water spurts every so often. They added a few LED’s in the “fountain”, threw a few benches in funky shapes and vomited a few planters here and there and before you know it Bob’s your uncle! The Medici’s have been shamed. Piazza San Giorgio is the cultural apex of this year – and boo to you Renzo Piano.
They had a show kicking it all off presented by a Claire Agius dressed up as a “dead bear in pants with sequined breasts”. They had acrobats a-swinging, light show a-glaring, and ministers and archbishops a-smiling. Forget “let them eat cake”, judging by the interviews and people’s reactions on the Times today it sure does not take much to please the people.
I repeat. It’s a square that has been cleared of cars.
With new tiling.
And some lights.
And benches.
And a few holes that spout water.
Big effin deal.
(It’s very najs though – and the kids sure love it).
