Categories
Mediawatch

Ivan Fenech is a dick

ivan_akkuza

I remember waiting eagerly for the latest installment of “Aħna aħna jew m’aħniex” on TVM. Ivan Fenech’s Cukaj was one of the more memorable characters that satirised the state of Maltese society through the virtual world of Cukaj which, we are told, was originally meant to be Tibet. The TV program was a breakthrough Maltese first (at least for quite a while) – laughing about ourselves and our ways of doing things. Like Peppi and others Ivan had a part in this that cannot but be acknowledged and for which we are grateful. Fast forward to today when Ivan made a return to the media with what has become an exercise of (often justified) labour bashing in the Times.

Certainly the many miles of opinion columns that grace today’s media are salutary to the well-being of our democracy and Ivan Fenech’s contribution should be no less appreciated than any other. Having said that Fenech has sometimes betrayed a rather crass aptitude to the use of sweeping statements and categorisations. Other columnists too have fallen into the trap – sometimes disguising it as some sort of supernatural innate instinct – sniffing “hamalli”, “underworlds” or “chavs” in much the same way a dog might sniff cocaine being clandestinely imported.

Fenech’s latest column (Is Labour burning?) included the following phrases:

“Corleone-born Mafia boss Totò Riina, on the run from the law for decades, is rumoured to have loved visiting Gozo and drinking wine at It-Tokk. It is just a rumour, of course, because in Gozo you cannot pin anything down. Riina needed a holiday now and again and what better place to go to but an island where omertà is something that comes natural. Try asking a Gozitan for directions to someone’s house and you’d see where you’d end up. Even worse, ask them for a VAT receipt.”

Really Ivan? For one second just replace “Gozitan” with “black person” or “Jew” or “woman”. What kind of crap is Ivan peddling here? This denigration of “gozitans” crops up time and again and it is downright ridiculous. First of all it is offensive. Second of all it is an ill-founded assumption. Ivan Fenech should take a look around Malta (you know, the OTHER island where omertà is something that comes natural). He might find that the traits that he attributes to the persons who happen to live on the smaller island are just as rampantly observable on the bigger island. Hell, he just has to take a look at the main protagonists in most of the scandals raging (and burning) on the island to notice that the criminal and anti-social element that he is so keen to attribute to Gozitans is really all-pervasive.

As for Riina. Unless he landed directly on Gozo when flying in from Sicily I am sure he passed through quite a few omertà-inclined individuals in Malta on his way to the ferry. Just a rumour Ivan?

I heard a rumour that you are a dick. There’s quite a few people spreading it, particularly those who you irk with your (often spot on) assessments of Labour’s haplessness in government. It’s only a rumour and you know, on the net it’s hard to pin anything down. probably the best thing to do with this kind of rumour is to treat it for what it is – and unless facts get checked and points proven it would be better to not include them in opinion columns and publications.

The nasty habit of bandying around rumours, hearsay and half-truths will just not do. It makes total dicks out of whoever chooses to do so.

Here’s one from the 80’s Ivan. Dedicated to the good old times of Ahna… and please… no offence… it’s just a rumour.

Categories
Mediawatch

No Bridge for Troubled Waters

bridges_akkuzaIt’s such an annoying habit. The moment the government of the day feels that it is losing the PR plot somebody in the communications department rushes to the file cabinet marked “Red Herrings” and pulls out the thickest file of them all. “Bridge to Gozo” has all the makings of controversy à-la-carte that might only just satisfy the need to distract – to draw attention away from the real problem.

It has happened again. Labour’s absolute incapacity to deal with the basic tenets of the rule of law have been laid embarrassingly bare by a series of unbelievable events. Unbelievable in the sense that you could not invent them if you wanted to. We have reached a point where our members of parliament – the people’s representatives – are informed that they (or their entourage) will no longer be allowed to bear firearms within the parliamentary precincts. No shit Sherlock. Where they ever?

Forget the Black Rod having the door slammed in his face and having to knock three times to gain access to the hallowed halls of popular representation. Forget any semblance of institutional respect (let alone reverence). Forget, in short, the basic fundamentals of the rule of law.

Potevamo stupirvi con effetti speciali… but we’re just throwing this bridge idea at you. Of course we’ve royally screwed the public transport “improvement” we promised, and don’t forget we’ve absolutely bungled the whole issue of a new power station; we’re not exactly hiding the fact that property developers have us by the balls and we will be selling off huge chunks of the littoral for their enjoyment, BUT of course we can ask you to consider trusting us with a 1 billion euro project to span the fliegu. Piss up in a brewery anyone?

I’d say Jesus wept. But he is running out of tears at this point.

Categories
Travel

Il-Vapur ghal Betlehem

Qbadna il-kju mill-Ghadira. Il-Hadd imqaddes. Kju karozzi Maltin ta’ Malta li ghogobhom jghaddu l-ahhar Hadd tas-sena f’Ghawdex. Allajbierek. “Ghawdxi tajjeb aharqu” jghidu. Ma’ l-ewwel cans li jkollhom imaqdru ‘l Ghawdex u lill-Ghawdxin. Imma min imaqdar irid jixtri jghidu u f’dan il-kaz ix-xewqa tax-xerrej tigi ikkargata ghira.

Kju jibda mill-Ghadira. Min jipprova jaqbez, min jirnexxilu b’komplicità ta’ pulizija nofs kedda u min jitwaqqaf. Ihirsa tal-passat fis ifeggu meta tinduna li l-karozza li thalliet tghaddi u taqbez kellha it-Torca fuq display god-dashboard. Allajbierek.

Manjieri xejn u tinhass tensjoni generali li titkebbes go qalb il-Malti meta jara kju. “Kif se naghmel biex nasal qabel haddiehor?” Il-kuncett ta’ stennija ordinata thawwad il-boxxla tal-parti l-kbira tal-vjaggaturi. L-istennija tikxef il-verita maghrufa. Il-Malti pampalun li tghidx kemm ihalli ewri Ghawdex f’ikel u xorb (u souvenirs?) jiftah il-boot tal-karozza u wiehed malajr jilmah il-picnic cooler, it-thermos, u l-kaxxa pastini. Ihalli zobb mhux ewro.

Igri jitla’ fuq il-vapur halli imbaghad iserrep lejn ir-Rabat, jipparkja fejn irid u jhossu komdu u wara erhilu jilmenta dwar it-tickets li jaghtu “l-Ghawdxin”. Dan l-ahhar sid ta’ flat go Ghawdex qalli wahda gdida. Kera flat lil xi Malti u x’hin mar jara kid sejrin isib li kienu gabu seba’ heaters tal-elettriku magghom. Genji. Ghax il-kont tad-dawl ma jhallsuhx huma.

Konversazzjoni ghaddejja barra karozzti.

“Kif int?”
“Heqq. Nipprova nirkeb” (N.Dr. – ghax fih talent toqghod fil-kju)
“U jien ma ridtx ninzel ta… Imma t-tfal…”
“Anki jien ta… Darba f’sena ninzel”
“Xtaqt hallejt il-karozza c-Cirkewwa u naqbad tal-linja imma ma riedux”

Ma komplejtx insegwi ghax f’daqqa il-kju mexa. Shuttle service. Filfatt tkun stennejt inqas milli tahseb u hafna mill-infern ikun ikkawzat mit-tensjoni u nervi. Nissuspetta li dan gara ukoll sa certu punt lill-Arriva. Appuntu l-Arriva. Kull min kellimt Ghawdex jahlef bis-sistema taghhom gewwa Ghawdex. Hasra.

Tlaqna. Jien ghal dari u l-familja u c-corma Maltin ghal Bethlehem f’Ghajnsielem.

Awguri lil huti l-Maltin kollha.
U bilhaq… Tiskrux bil-Fanta
Go Betlehem.

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Categories
Campaign 2013

Promises and Plans (II) – Gozo

Simon Busuttil penned a good article in yesterday’s Times (Gozo on the parties’ agenda). This article is a clear illustration of the difference I have mentioned between empty promises and concrete proposals. Simon says (tee-hee) that the PN has concrete options for Gozo that can be contrasted to Labour’s vague promises of “increasing jobs and increasing tourism”. The difference lies in the fact that the PN is saying HOW it will bring about jobs. I know because I can list the promises here – so that should be proof enough of their existence:

  • tax breaks of up to  €200,000 over a three-year period to any new business that opens in Gozo employing a minimum of two people.
  • slash administrative fees of all Gozo businesses down to just 10 per cent of their total.
  •  efforts will continue to be made to incentivise cruise liners to berth in Gozo.
  • new measures will be taken to entice some of the more than half a million cruise passengers arriving at Grand Harbour to take a trip to Gozo.
  • to stimulate further investment in five-star hotels and to offer schemes that will help upgrade lower star hotels as well as farmhouses in Gozo.
  • Financial support will also be given to public events, typically opera, carnival and traditional events that can stimulate tourism in the shoulder months.
  • On their return, people spending at least one night in Gozo will pay the same ferry rate as Gozo residents.
  • Gozo will take a further step forwards in its devolution with the establishment of the Gozo Regional Council through an ad hoc law that will also formally establish Gozo as an island region in Malta.
  • a commitment to financing a final study on building a permanent link between Malta and Gozo with the intention of proceeding with the project subject to the outcome of the study.
  • There are other proposals too, such as further investment in road infrastructure, the establishment of a Business Park for crafts businesses and the completion of the Eco-Gozo initiative with a further focus on renewable energy and water catchment projects.
  • Committing 10 per cent of Malta’s share of EU funds to Gozo. This would be the third financial package for Gozo since we joined the EU in 2004. I reckon that, since then, EU funding in Gozo must have topped the €100 million.

I agree with Simon. It’s a mouthful. The proposals are there to be criticised and improved. Labour has not given us anything of this sort other than a show of hands about whether or not people want more work to be created in Gozo. There are some proposals above that need further analysis – how is the PN going to justify the tax breaks under EU law? It is important to read the difference between “to stimulate further investment” and “to invest” – they are not the same thing and the former depends on third parties. The Regional Council is a case of better late than never – it would be  good to see Labour adopting the general idea too (last time round Labour saw fit to even abolish Gozo’s ministry).

The point remains though. Concrete proposals vs managerial hogwash. Will Labour show us the money insofar as Gozo is concerned or are there “commercial interests” that need be protected here too?

Categories
Transport

Unplanned

ARRIVA is due to launch the new nationwide transport system on the 3rd of July this year. Drivers are being trained, fares have been calculated and new routes have been on the drawing board for quite some time now. While the size and type of transition will justify glitches along the way there is an irritating feel to the kind of transitional glitches that have surfaced recently. Two of them in particular:

1. The Bisazza Street gaffe: The man who would love to seem to be the brains behind the scenes a.k.a Manuel Delia of the Austin Gatt ministry (and PN candidate to be) explained that the detour around newly pedestrianised Bisazza Street would throw Arriva’s intelligent information system out of the window. As pathetic excuses go this one takes the ticket. Even the online commentators on the Times – not usually the best measure for spontaneous bursts of intelligent remarks – pointed out that an intelligent system does not get “thrown out of the window” every time there is a deviation.

It then transpires that, based on the agreement negotiated by Manuel Delia’s government with Arriva, the transport company will be entitled to compensation every time government works will oblige it to reroute. If we were to take the Times reporting as a fact then it would seem that such compensation is only due in the case of permanent rerouting:

The contract also lays down a formula for compensation under which a re-routing of this nature* will have to take place. This is calculated by multiplying distance by frequency, with the latter being the crucial element in this case. (…) Meanwhile, Mr Delia said rumours that councils would have to pay some form of compensation to Arriva for closing a road off temporarily were “complete rubbish”. In such cases, councils should inform Transport Malta of the planned closure which would in turn inform Arriva, who would tell its customers accordingly, he said.

*we are not told what “of this nature” really means and are assuming it is “permanent”

So in a country where roadworks are the norm – blockages almost a standard and government planning as controlled as a Brighton Beach Party – we have a government that ties this kind of clause into a contract. At least there is always the Resources Ministry to blame if the government is obliged to pay compensation for a Transport Ministry sanctioned contract. (see ADDENDUM) The left hand blaming the right anyone? So Mr. Delia… I guess what with all the lovely clauses you negotiated you also have one explaining to the taxpayer why he must cover the bill for your half-arsed planning.

2. The Bus Driver Shortage. And since bus drivers are not in great abundance it seems that the Transport Authority is having difficulties finding bus drivers to run the current system since many drivers are off training at ARRIVA.

As the yellow buses struggle to keep the public transport service running, with drivers being taken up for training by the new operator, Transport Malta has stepped in to ease the burden by helping with dispatching. (Times)

You cannot really blame ARRIVA can you? Then again.. what were they thinking?

3. Fare’s Fair?

Unless I am completely mistaken the fare business seems to have been settled. ARRIVA will be going ahead with the resident/non-resident distinction as the tiny disclaimer at the foot of the FARES page will show you:

*All the fares shown above are discounted Adult fares for Malta ID card holders.  To take advantage of these fares you must carry your ID card when travelling.  Full fare information for non-residents, as well as concessionary fare details, can be accessed here.

There is also the ARRIVA SAVER card that will require you to download and print a form, trundle off to the POST office (33 available branches), pay a €5 administration fee and choose between a 30 and 90 day top up.To be fair it seems that online top ups are in the pipeline. Still… this will not be the last that we hear on discrimination on basis of residence.

Interestingly there is this disclaimer regarding Gozitans or what seem to be the Maltese who carry an ID with an address in Gozo to save on the Gozo Ferry fee…

Please note, the Arriva Saver Card can be used in Malta only – unless when applying the customer can produce a relevant Malta ID card with a Gozo address, in which case they can also use their Saver Card for travel in Gozo.

I cannot understand this one. Is it telling me I cannot use the card in Gozo for buses in Gozo? What else can you have if not a Malta ID card? What kind of difference/distinction/discriminatory condition is “a relevant Malta ID card with a Gozo address”? This seems to me a very convoluted way of justifying the double-insularity exception for Gozo (the same one that allows Gozo Channel to “discriminate” fees). It would probably have been easier for two companies to have been formed ARRIVA MALTA and ARRIVA GOZO – each with their separate ticketing system. But hey… who am I to know?

ADDENDUM: In a MaltaToday report we read the following:

It turns out that it was only on 21 April – five months after Transport Malta signed the agreement with Arriva – that the Ministry for Resources and Rural Affairs asked Transport Malta to consider the complete pedestrianisation of Bisazza Street. This meant the decision to have a fully pedestrianised street was left up until too late for any changes to the Arriva contract.

Which might seem to be a saving point for the negotiators of the contract. Sure, until you realise that this will (probably) not be the last time the government (and yes, it’s useless pointing fingers at separate ministries) will decide to restructure the urban landscape. The timing of THIS pedestrianisation is not as much to blame as the clause that allows for compensation for rerouting in certain circumstances.

 

Categories
Mediawatch

Tunnel Vision (the addendum)

And his Master’s Voice is fast at work, eager to dispel the idea that this is just an exercise in mental entertainment. The Times carried an article yesterday entitled “Gozitans welcome tunnel idea”. Well J’accuse welcomes the idea too but does not believe in the timing. We are convinced that a time will come when a tunnel/bridge/teleport site will happen between Malta and Gozo (and that Gozo will suffer the consequences) but we are also convinced that no one in his right mind thinks that the time is now.

For starters, and only for starters there’s the financing. Even if we considered farming out the contract to a private enterprise (and risked being at their mercy for tolls for a decade or two) would you really trust this government not to make a hash of the tender in the same way as it has done with the unmentionable BWSC?

In any case, you really have to ask what made the Times dish out the superlatives such as:

“Massive support for the proposal was shown this morning but it was pointed out that Gozitans should have a very big say in the decision. They proposed a referendum in Gozo to see where Gozitans stood on the issue.”

Really? So what exactly is the “massive support” if a referendum is needed? then the GRTU came out strongly in favour of the tunnel. If you consider Vince Farrugia a strong unbiased voice that is. On the other hand, if you remember that Vince was part of the umbrella coalition for MEP votes then you might think again. The Times’ eagerness to shower plaudits was unbridled:

Some of the organisations in Gozo had already appointed sub-committees to work on the proposal, while a survey held by the GTA found had 90 per cent support of members of the Gozo Tourism Authority.

I bet the Xewkija Tigers social committee got an early head start on that one. And you’ve got to love the survey by the GTA (Gozo Tourism Authority) that obtained 90% support of the … wait for it… Gozo Tourism Authority.

As for copying Nordic countries, the last time we experimented with their ideas in the Fliegu we ended up with flat bottomed boats that were ideal for fjords but that rocked like crazy whenever the Libeccio was here to stay.

Could do better.

Post postum

And Inhobbkom couldn’t resist throwing in his two cents’ worth. He came up with not one but two gems:

Labour, he said, had considered a tunnel project for Gozo in the 1970s and it would be in favour after all the studies were carried out for the best type of permanent link to be developed. But decisions could not be imposed and they had to be taken by Gozitans.


1. Labour in the 70’s already considered a tunnel project. Another one from Labour’s revival of the 70s better known as “That 70s No-No”. The omniscient Mintoff had actually caused a fuss about a bridge but if I recall well some engineers from Japan or Russia had shot down the idea as unfeasible. That’s that.

2. Decision is for the Gozitans to take. Arse-licking the Gozitans is a PLPN favourite that escalates just before election time. Here Inhobbkom engages in the all time favourite of mini-nationalism: “Decisions could not be imposed and they had to be taken by the Gozitans”. We could dismiss it as a load of codswalloping bullshit but then again upon reflection we do note his consistency: essentially Labour will not take any decision itself. It is always up to somebody else to take the decision (and the blame).

We’ve fallen in… and we can’t get out.