J'accuse » Travel

Not Sri Lanka

Jacques René Zammit — Sat, 17 Dec 2011 21:50:32 +0000

This Christmas & New Year, the wife and I were supposed to be going on a dream honeymoon to Sri Lanka and the Maldives. Were supposed. Yes that’s it. It’s not happening – at least we are not going there. I cannot really complain because we are actually off to tour the West Coast (and I plan to drive A1A Beachfront Avenue with Vanilla Ice on the stereo – how’s that for the apex of corny retro) and then drive through the desert to Vegas before hitting the beaches in Antigua. That’s what I call a cool backup plan.

If my alter ego, Gakbu Sfigho, were still active he would have chronicled how we went through a hundred different jabs (ok 2 – but one of them left me doing my own version of the Runs for a weeekend) as well as how we incurred hundreds of euros in medical expenses BEFORE we even got on the plane. Incidentally if anyone needs around 200€ worth of malaria pills (Malarone) I’m your man. I am also in possession of a one month tourist VISA to Sri Lanka that was obtained with the extra expense of DHL transmission of documents and a serendipital donation to the Maltese Association in Brussels (Fausto will correct the nomenclature).

So yes. This is a little explanation to J’accuse readers that should tell you why you will not be reading missives from the land of tea plantations and spicy food. Instead I might write you a letter from Alcatraz. One things fo shoo…. we ain’t going to Sri Lanka.

Cambridge – a slideshow

Jacques René Zammit — Wed, 07 Sep 2011 08:20:44 +0000

J’accuse lends itself to some experimentation for the greater glory of révù. A slide show using flickr that demonstrates both the beauty of hipstamatic shots and the maravilliouos setting of Cambridge (and a bit of toilets (don’t ask), London and food).

Feel Good Inc.

Jacques René Zammit — Tue, 06 Sep 2011 08:20:24 +0000

Part 1 – food

A holiday planned around a wedding in Cambridge was a great opportunity to really relax and switch off. While I could not really resist the temptation to hook onto WiFi and catch up on the news outside, I found the pull of the great town (its history, its food and its shops) to be a soothing palliative to the stress of recent months. Yep, J’accuse went on a sort of mental shut down while walking from college to college in the old University town.

Holiday also meant that the Dukan Diet got a deserved break that kicked off with pork scratching entrées at The Chophouse outside King’s College. They’re fabulous, especially dipped in an apple cider purée and washed down well with a Pinot Gris (we had to add a touch of Greater Luxembourg to the first meal). If you do get down to the Chophouse there is one desert that cannot be missed – the (gluten free) fruit crumble. Divinity on a plate.

I still get impressed at the sanitised manner in which food – packed food and food that screams “I’m both retro and healthy” – is approached in the UK. Places like PRET, EAT and the like line up salad after salad and take-away wraps confounding both stomach and mind as to the choice for the quick solution to accompany your adjective ridden coffee.

Even the Crowne Plaza breakfast coffee is “proudly brewed by Starbucks” which means that your adventure to get the right cappuccino or espresso has to start from outside the haven of the otherwise magnificent breakfast table at the hotel. No worries – Cambridge does not even need to offer you a faux italian establishment for a good brew of the grain (vide Don Pasquale’s in the market square). Just pop over to Fitzbillie’s where your excellent espresso/capuccino/macchiato can be downed with a bite of the Chelsea buns that form the foundations of Fitzbillie’s growing reputation.

For good local food there are two solutions: a pub lunch is always a pleasant option – try the Anchor for example where you can sit back and enjoy the punters if like us you’ve found some clement weather. If you want to have the wankellectual solution then try the Eagle Pub (round the corner from the Chophouse) where Watson and Crick allegedly cracked the DNA idea. Better still nothing beats the marketplace for good food. I am told on a very good authority that the mouthwatering whiff of Ostrich Burgers that pervade the senses upon reaching market square do not lie. The burgers are phantasmagorically scrumptious.

If standing up to chew on a burger is not your style then do not miss out on Bill’s Cafe restaurant and Store. Tasty food homely decor and great service combine to give you an unforgettable dining experience (and moment of relaxation) amidst colourful surroundings. The hummous and halloumi sandwich is particularly exquisite – and you can walk out with a bill’s recipe book as well as some of their wonderful produce.

You can also walk out with a recipe book if you visit Jamie’s Italian. The design and decor is magnificent. The menu is brazenly simple and to the point. The food. Well. Nothing great there to be honest. Our waitress turned out to have worked at Sliema Pitch restaurant for two years before moving to Jamie’s in Cambridge. If I had to be perfectly honest the Angus Steak served at Sliema pitch is a hundred times better than the fare we got on the plate amidst the usual fuss of quaint presentations and “genuine” Italian at Jamie’s.

Cambrigde. Much more than a University town.

Coffee

Jacques René Zammit — Tue, 23 Aug 2011 07:30:26 +0000

End of the two weeks in Malta. The notes from a small island include a register of the pent up frustration that surfaces when discussing and that contrasts incredibly with the image of laid back Med country that is part of the daily tableau. We don’t travel to judge. Us expats I mean but we are inevitably driven to drawing comparisons. So while we may find the heat a little bit more unbearable with every visit, we can also be pleasantly surprised by the little beauties that surface. It’s like that with culinary fantasies like the atmosphere and food at Temptasian (The roof restaurant at The Palace, Sliema). While waiting for 30 mins at Zaventem for the baggage to finally start moving round the conveyor belt we are reminded by a Flemish lady that every country has it’s imperfections: “welcome to Belgium”. Luckily we manage to hop on the last train home and are chauffeured from the arid train station to sleepy Dondelange by the laid back and chilled MV who reminds us of the welcoming and homely nature of the Maltese abroad. We read the book ‘Uncommon’ on the flight and found it to be fantasmagorical. More on that in re-vu when we get down to writing a short review, which is a bit ironic really because I get the feeling that it will be like révù reviewing itself.

Image: from the J’accse physical archives. A snapshot of a poster for an SDM/MUSC party back in the day when budding politicians knew the difference between work and play (and were good at both) and DJs were …. Hell, just DJs.

Cheap Spin by the Times

Jacques René Zammit — Mon, 02 May 2011 08:02:07 +0000

The Times of Malta has its moments of cheap spin tapping on the volatility of your average voter in order to feed on the quickfire commentators response. Shortly after couching the appointment of the new head of the EU Representation in Malta in purely economic terms (here we go again… does Martin Bugelli earn more than the President? Does he? Oh the shame!)… we now have the bestseller: those bastards earning a living abroad.

Far be it for the Times to highlight the “suggestions” that people like J’accuse have been making for ages regarding voting abroad. No sir. Instead we have to stir the shit and the sentiment against the idea of the government hitting the jackpot for AirMalta and ensuring it gets paid for a number of full flights to Malta and back. Not to mention the lack of criticism directed towards the PLPN autocracy who thrive on the state of affairs as is and would never budge a finger to change the status quo.

Does it even dawn on the brain of these nit-picking imbeciles that in order to take advantage of a “cheap flight” that is there solely for me to exercise my vote I have to: (a) take days off work in order to get to Malta and vote, and (b) spend time and money that is involved in maintaining the uselessly long and unnecessary trip to get to a polling booth that is not located in an embassy in the country where I am currently employed (but that is not my country).

Of course it does not. Here is the full article as appeared in the Times. I am giving it the TGIL annotated treatment as it deserves.

Cheap KM Flights for divorce poll

Cheap flights heavily subsidised by the government [read: your government will be allocating YOUR taxes to AirMalta with the excuse of the divorce referendum] will be made available for Maltese abroad who are eligible to vote in the May 28 divorce referendum, The Sunday Times has learnt.

When contacted, a spokesman for the Prime Minister’s Office confirmed that the scheme will be applied to this month’s vote though it is not yet clear which destinations will benefit [Benefit? A rather heavy word Mr Spokesperson. Nobody benefits. We are just told that if we want to exercise our right to vote we have to trudge all the way to Malta instead of doing the normal thing and voting in embassies or by post or (heaven forbid) on the net - not to mention that for the sizeable crowd in Luxembourg there is rarely a direct flight to be seen - which means more time spent on the redundant tripping].

It is understood Air Malta will be offering return air tickets at €35 inclusive of taxes and other charges. The flights will be valid for eligible voters, including those married to foreigners, studying, working or undergoing medical treatment abroad and their dependants. [A rather exhaustive list for one to start "it is understood" - why not say "it has been leaked to us as the unofficial government mouthpiece?"]

The government will make up for the rest of the charges so that the brunt is not borne by Air Malta. [Santi Subito! AirMalta bears no brunt. It actually gets paid with YOUR taxes to fly full flights to Malta. Why do they make it sound like the Maltese abroad are the culprits? ]

The overall cost will be borne by the government. Bringing over 3,057 people to vote at the 2008 general election had cost the taxpayer over €1 million.

It had cost the country more than €442,000 to fly 1,377 people to Malta to vote in the 2009 European Parliament election – €321 per passenger. [Cor look at that. €442,000. Now how much would a ultrasecure website with personalised codes cost the government to set up? Even if it were to choose one of its favourite website builders it would be a money-saving exercise no?]

A breakdown of the figures given by Prime Minister Lawrence Gonzi in Parliament in December 2009 revealed that the sum included €92,600 for the operation of extra flights, €83,227 in passenger tax, €14,689 in servicing costs, and €251,828 in income lost between the normal flight costs and the €35 discounted price. [I get lost in these accounting figures but how do they really calculate the tax into the equation? I mean at the end of the day the government does not pay itself tax right? So if the government commandeers a plane to get some voters over are we saying that it would charge ITSELF tax and that therefore that is an expense?]

The initiative has been described as outdated and costly by many who believe it is high time for the authorities to opt for easier and cheaper means to vote. [Hello? Is anybody out there? Sixyears of repetitive blogging about this charade? Six bloody years.]

Suggestions that those eligible to vote could cast their preferences at a Maltese embassy, or even vote online, have never been taken on board.

The initiative is often seen [By idiots and people with chips on their shoulder] as an opportunity for a cheap holiday for those living abroad, some of whom earn high wages in the European institutions, at the expense of the local taxpayer. [Now that's a beauty - we earn high wages in the European instituions at YOUR expense darlings... sure.. latest count per capita is a little over €1 per year contributed by you to finance the pay of EVERY EU WORKER]

When contacted, a spokesman for the ‘No to Divorce’ movement said since everyone had the right and duty to vote, the necessary measures ought to be taken to facilitate voting by Maltese people living or working abroad. Pro-divorce movement chairman Deborah Schembri said her organisation agreed flights should be organised to bring people to Malta to vote. [And of course they would. How about contacting the PL and PN crowds eh? Do your Masters not allow you a comment from the idiots behind this scheme that makes our nation look like the Hamish of Europe (with apologies to the Hamish)? ]

Asked about the cost to the economy, Dr Schembri said that if the country had enough money to organise a referendum, it should spend a bit more to enable everyone, even those working or living abroad, to vote. [Wrong Deborah (and I promise I have nothing personal against you). The country does not have money to be spent on stupid half-ass, half-brained ideas. It should be investing in a proper system of voting in embassies or by post (at least). But hey... so long as there is the European Gravy train to blame...the PLPN crowd can go on condoning stupid measures. After all Stupid is what stupid does.]

In un paese pieno di coglioni ci mancano le palle. – J’accuse 2011

The Enthusiasm of Youth

Jacques René Zammit — Tue, 19 Apr 2011 16:03:15 +0000

Three days into my stay on the island and I am getting a bit of a tan notwithstanding the sporadic games of hide and seek played out by the big orb in the sky. I must continue to apologise for the relative laxity of updates on this blog but the mind and body have been engaged elsewhere for most of the past week. Hopefully the holiday period will allow our new thoughts to settle and inaugurate a spring of blogging ecstasy.

Today I had a happy trip down memory lane visiting Uni Campus and even got to visit a very changed KSU premises. I got to meet some of tomorrow’s future. It’s same same but different out there. On the one hand I left the quadrangle convinced that there is a lot of enthusiasm among the students of today but on the other hand I was also convinced that this enthusiasm is being wrongly channelled. The usual suspects still rule the roost and the end result is that whether it’s SDM, Pulse or a third movement we are talking about there is very little “Thinking Different” going on and very much mimicking of a failed formula. The pity lies in the waste of potential and enthusiasm – but hope springs eternal and I am sure that not all is lost.

Another little bit of info that struck me is that seven years into EU membership very few students are eager to leave the island upon graduating. There seem to be many reasons for this – relationships, the rush to get into a job and of course, the rat race. Be that as it may I still cannot understand why the number of graduates who are eager to discover the world out there and take up the challenge are so few and far between.

I’m off to a family reunion now. There’s some kinfolk I have not seen for quite a while now and there will be much catch-upping to do. We’ll catch up with the social and political commentary later.

Serenissimo (I.M. Back)

Jacques René Zammit — Wed, 03 Nov 2010 10:21:29 +0000

We’re back from a five day stint in La Serenissima. Two days of sun and three days of windy drizzle turned out to be a relaxing (and eventful) holiday. More about the eventful part later. There’s loads of bloggable news to be seen to after the break but we thoroughly enjoyed switching off from the world for a little while. There’s been all sorts of items to comment upon from the sublime (Juve beat Milan) to the terrific (Tottenham uncovered the intercettato true colours) to the worrying (a parcel bomb addressed to the ECJ). Obama’s lost his majority in Congress, Labour has lost its cool with photoshop and Berlusconi’s just lost it. His latest foray into the world of political bumbleness included the statement of “better someone who likes women than a gay”. What will continue to baffle is the manner in which thousands of people will still vote for the midget on high heels even after this kind of gaffe. Still, politics has a way of suprising us doesn’t it? I’m looking forward to catching up on Tonio and Friends….
Accompanying photo is of a t-shirt spotted in a shopwindow in Venice. Subliminal advertising? It was a bridge or two away from a huge graffiti stating in no uncertain terms: “Lega merda”. Serenissima indeed.

This Time, the Joke May Be on Berlusconi (nytimes.com)
Silvio Berlusconi: ‘My passion for women is better than being gay’ (telegraph.co.uk)
Berlusconi’s joke about his love life falls flat with gays (seattletimes.nwsource.com)
Greece halts mail after attacks (bbc.co.uk)
Suspect Packages For Berlusconi And Merkel (news.sky.com)
Greek police suspend mail and parcel services (telegraph.co.uk)

Pompidou

Jacques René Zammit — Mon, 25 Oct 2010 09:42:59 +0000

Last Saturday we tripped off to the military town across the border. Well it is military no more and ever since the Franco-German hostilites over Alsace-Lorraine cooled down the city of Metz has been trying to reinvent itself. The Centre Pompidou inaugurated this year goes a long way in placing the beautiful city back on the map of “visitable” destinations in France. Metz is hoping to have the “Bilbao effect” in this quiet north-east corner of the hexagon.

It’s worth visiting. Not just for the Pompidou centre but also for the magnificent cathedral, for the lovely architecture that is a mélange of the attempts of the French/German occupiers to stamp their imprint on this outpost. If you do visit this corner of the world then you would not be amiss to try out the Italian restaurant on Place de Paris in Luxembourg called “La Voglia Matta“. They have an incredible choice of pastas – with the additional benefit of a copious choice of home made gluten-free pastissimi. I’m in love with the gf gnocchi quattro formaggi or the sugo di cinghiale.The restaurant is also worth visiting because of the kitschy fifties decor and magnificent view over Avenue de la Liberté – book a window seat to really enjoy the experience!

Skip dessert at the restaurant (you’ll have no space for it anyway) and drive/bus to the City Concorde in Bertrange for one of the best ice-creams on the face of this planet. It’s another Italian establishment called Franky. My favourite is a fiordilatte/chocolate mix though you cannot be disappointed by any of the tastes on sale.

The Pompidou Photoshoot (feat. LL & the innocent bystanders):

Feckin' Flights

Jacques René Zammit — Thu, 09 Sep 2010 06:55:55 +0000

This one is mainly for the transfrontaliers living outremer. The quest for a “cheap flight” connection to Malta is becoming like a game of “hot & cold”. As Flyunfair and Flimsyjet CEO’s throw darts across the European map selecting airport links to Malta au hazard we can now happily announce that the “cold, cold, cold” has become “tepid”. Flyunfair have a new flight from Eindhoven (Holland). It’s around three hours away from Luxembourg and the flights are Thursdays and Sundays (and yes, the flight back is at 6am so think of it as a Thursday to Saturday trip to Malta for your urgent needs that cannot wait.

Three hours’ drive plus two hours’ leeway before getting on the plane (Flyunfair’s quirky ideas about queueing ppl like animals simply because the flight is “cheap”) and a three hour flight. That’s still eight hours door to airport (MIA). Things, they say, can only get better. Frankfurt airport is the same driving time away (prices slightly more expensive) and a wellplanned flight from Dusseldorf (also around three hours away) could turn out to be cheaper (and more luggage space). The French are still obstinately refusing to make Metz-Nancy airport amenable for international flights (which might just be ok given the penchant of French air traffic controllers to simply sod off and cause absolute chaos for the plane schedule ). Germany has introduced an aviation tax making ALL flights slightly more expensive p.p.

We’re not really after the deal. A well priced (not Luxair style) price from an airport that is a convenient drive away would just be the ticket. Until now the closest airport with relatively normal prices is still Brussels – a good two hours away (not counting possible upsets at the last stage of the car trip on the black hole that is the Ring). Open market my arse.

Last Kiss (snapshots)

Jacques René Zammit — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 21:53:14 +0000

On our first walkabout in NY still fresh from the transatlantic flight led us straight to the glimmering lights of Times Square at around four in the afternoon. The sun was out in all its splendour and the square was readying for an invasion of the “Beautiful Game” with many of the lit screens and panels illuminated with details of forthcoming matches and other details of the football festival. We walked gently to what we thought would be the central point of the square and then just stood back and took it all in. The long queues of crowds searching for the bargain Broadway tickets criss-crossed trigger happy tourists capturing this or that moment on SLRs.

A makeshift football stand had been set up in the middle of the square and when you climbed to the top you could absorb all the atmosphere around you from a bird’s eye view. Just before going up the temporary structure we came across a wedding photoshoot. Bride and groom in full wedding regalia were posing against the magnificent metropolitan backdrop when all of a sudden they were joined by an unusual character. A promoter of the Cage aux Folles spectacle had pranced onto the “stage” intent on getting his photo moment with the happy couple while promoting his spectacle. I caught two great shots of the next few moments and had been playing around with them with the new photoshopping program (Lightroom) when I came across this news item.

Apparently one of the two protagonists of an historic snapshot taken in Times Square on 14th August 1945 had just passed away. The photo snapped by Alfred Eisenstaed pictures a sailor embracing and kissing a lovely damsel right in the middle of New York’s most famous crossroads. Edith Shain, the damsel in question, passed away last Sunday aged 91. I found the similarities between my two treasured shots and the context of this historic photo curiously coincidental. Go figure.

The Original Photo

Promoter Walks On

Promises Promises

Edith Shain, 91, Dies; Claimed to Be Subject of Famous V-J Day Photo (nytimes.com)
Nurse in Famous WWII Times Square Kiss Photo Dies at 91 (laist.com)
Edith Shain, nurse from iconic Times Square kiss photo, dies at 91 (inquisitr.com)
Kissing Nurse: Edith Shain dies at age 91 (atomiurl.com)
Edith Shain, Nurse In Iconic VJ Kiss, Dies at 91 (cbsnews.com)