Tonio Fenech gave the nation its budget not so long ago. Since then the Prime Minister has taken it upon himself to ignore the accusations of doctoring of figures (and such wondrously magickal words as capital expenditure) and concentrated on proving how under his leadership Malta is weathering the storm. My question (since questions seem to be the order of the day) to Prime Minister Gonzi would be: Has Malta decided to think like my German friend and opted to concentrate on matters that are within its control? So we can’t save the euro but what is our plan for the crisis? If so what is our default plan for the day the euro dies? Do we need one? Surely not everything is “Ward u Zahar”. (Sweet smelling roses).
I’m sorry to be the one to ask PM Gonzi this question but the PM-in-waiting seems to be busy working on Malta’s first ever space program. Or so I gather from the evidence that is available. Well yes. I am about to criticise “Inhobbkom Joseph” again. I was told more than once this week that since my return from my nuptial escapade I seem to be digging my critical talons deeper into Joseph’s flesh than is to many a Labourite voter’s liking.
Open your eyes. I had quite an argument with Bertu the cartoonist this week. After I had, as usual, described the toon that I would require to accompany this week’s article he challenged me to convince him first that Joseph Muscat deserved more attention (and picking on) than the Gonzi government (and budget). Hot on the heels of his objection came one or two comments on facebook accusing the Great J’accuse of not balancing his repartees out and “picking on Labour too often”. Like it’s a game. I cannot stand this bloody “mhux fair” reasoning.
Here’s one reason that should suffice. Joseph Muscat wants to be the leader of this country. “Iss, imma Gonzi IS the leader now” I hear them object. Fine. What the Labourite advocates of par condicio (balanced criticism) fail to realise is that my concentrating on Muscat and what he has to offer implies a decision to not consider the “GonziPN” option next election. Yes dears. The average non-flag waving voter would have to go through that mental process that begins with thinking “So. I do not like what the Gonzi government has done for X reasons so I will definitely not be voting him back into government. Let’s see what “the others” have to offer”.
Look up to the skies and see. Well yes folks. As i put it to Bertu, if I have a stomach ache or an ulcer that is bothering me I do not reach for my grandpa’s old hunting rifle and aim in the general direction of my navel. Yes, you’ve guessed it – a gastroenterologist will do the trick most times. So if you believe that there is a problem, studying the right solution is not an exercise in “opposition bashing” but a careful check to see if there really is someone better to take the reins of the country into his hands. And tough shit for your dreams of a flag fest and carcade if the tests prove there isn’t.
Anyway the wind blows doesn’t really matter to me. So as the Labour-lites were showering plaudits on their Dear Leader for his supposedly wonderful performance in producing a larger number from his hat than did Lawrence Gonzi (51 beats 10 – booyakasha, raspberry and italian ombrello for good measure) J’accuse and plenty another pundit actually contrived to read the 51 “proposals”. For our reaction please refer to the post “51 proposals from another planet” on www.akkuza.com.
We were not amused. There was a children’s movie that goes by the name of Planet 51. The first words of the trailer describe another planet “Somewhere far, far away. There is a place where life is simple. Children are care free. And everything is pleasant”…. Planet 51. Muscat’s 51 “proposals” were written for this kind of planet. A planet oblivious to the universe around it where “everything is pleasant” and a few catch phrases (not to mention empty phrases like “We’ll give priority to fishing and farming” or “Youth before bureaucracy” – did they forget “Age before beauty?”) are supposed to magic away everyone’s woes.
Easy come easy go. Right before Tonio Fenech’s budget speech we were regaled with the sad scene of opposition bench members “daring” the government to mention the European crisis. You could see them ROTFL-ing and LOL-ing every mention of Greece, Spain and the European instability. After the budget we got Joseph Muscat’s proposals that are so intangible and detached from actual workability that they might as well be from another planet. Planet 51. Yet the nation remains divided and it is evident from reactions on the net that the mental sieve that is required by your average voter in order to make weighted choices is conspicuous in its absence. The next election is round the corner, there’s a record-breaking economic crisis out there and we still vote on the basis of tribal instinct.
Got to leave you all behind and face the truth. It may be jarring for many who would love to see the back of the Gonzi government that some like myself persist in surgically dissecting the Muscat option. We get called “armchair critics” (iss how easy) by people from both sides of the spectrum. In this case it is our realism that hurts. What we see from here is a nationalist party that is shedding most of its uncomfortable elements – JPO announced that he will not run again (will Labour woo him too?), Austin “Bulldozer” Gatt is on his way out and meanwhile there is a never-too-late rereading of the Basic Principles.
Muscat meanwhile is fast becoming a predictable populist puppet of easy words and shallow promises. Which does not mean they will not work. It takes big balls to prioritise your desire to run a country above the need to have a plan of how to run it once you’re actually in the driving seat. Big balls or a particularly devious mind driven by ignorance. Is this really a little silhouetto of a man we are seeing before us? One for whom nothing really matters, anyway the wind blows so long as it gets him to Castille?
In the end, when the curtain falls it is up to the audience to applaud or to boo. Joseph Muscat gave us 51 proposals in answer to Lawrence Gonzi’s 10 questions. If you are willing to believe that the 51 proposals are the solution that this country needs in these interesting times then you deserve a Labour government. Those who don’t believe the 51 proposals don’t deserve a Labour government, but at the rate populist feeling is going it seems that they’ll get it anyway.
That. In short. Is the beauty of democratic government.
www.akkuza.com has always been biased. We declared a journalistic passion for questions and a search for answers as from the beginning. Which makes us biased in our quest for the truth. This article is dedicated to the memory of one of the great philosophers of the twentieth century: Farrokh Bulsara a.k.a Freddie Mercury.
4 replies on “J’accuse : That Bohemian Planet 51”
surgically dissecting the Muscat option
dare i say that given the huge amount of vaiables involved in carrying out such a task, such task is ‘ridiculous’ in nature. I have yet to see such task having been carried out in any part of western democracy. But there again i may be mistaken. I do however agree that the Muscat option needs to be analysed and critised, yet this can not be made based on a supposition that this current government is a lost cause. Any new Government will have to cary forward what the previous government has done, hence no such analysis of Muscat can, in my opinion, happen independently from the realities on the ground as influenced by the behaviour of current government. The sun will not rise just because we may have a new government led by muscat.
Yes Danny, I am quite sure that Muscat has his own version of “il-hofra” ready up his sleeve come Day 1 in Castille. Again, if it is your belief that the nationalists are screwing up so badly that does not preclude you from asking Muscat to come up with a little more than a Children’s Parliament Resolution crossed with a Miss World declaration don’t you think?
Hi Jaccues, we seem to be in competition on our respective opinion as to the extent to which the Nationalist are screwing up the economy … and you seem to me more pronounced on this than I if i read you well – quote my concentrating on Muscat and what he has to offer implies a decision to not consider the “GonziPN” option next election unquote.
I will certainly ask Muscat for his road map. But I see the process as follows:
1. The general principles of the labour party are included in their constitution/statut or whatever it is now called and these are their northern star that will provide (hopefully)principled underpinnings to their plans and decision making
2. Detailed plans can never be detailed to a t but I will expect that clear objectives will be set before elections tipo l-20 punt that, you may remember, did not come with any detailed buisness plan attached to them. Yet FA’s Government stood or fell by them.
3. Twelve months are a very long time in economics and management, and while the braod parameters of objectives should be present, any detailed plans will not be worth the paper they will be written on. That is a fact of life and those who continue to bay for say plans must be aware of this simple fact. Perhaps one may also anticipate how LP ‘plans’ will be treated. I remember AS’s sizeable book on labour’s plans that was ignored by all pundits untill a snippet was conveniently extracted a few days before the election to inform us that (on page God knows which hundred) labour were proposing a repeater class that was cleavely soun as some kind of lost year to the concern of parents and grandparents…
4. I would also be keen to know who will be representing labour in parliament post election esp if they make it to government. I would expect that there will be a noticeable change of guard
ps I am certainly wary of how the new republic ‘debate’ (could it be negotiations) may include access to technocrat or pseudo technocrat input. This in my opiiom will be a singular step towards a real dictaorship and in my book is among the more important issues of the moment. Technocrats are totally available to the political class and their unelected presence in parliament where they may press all the buttons will bring us as close to a dictaorship as can be tipo miskin Gonzi on kbir imma m’ghandux biex jahdem…this is what happened across the board from Portugal to Nicaragua with very dire consequences. My fear is that even labour may find this to be acceptable … in which case we might as well privatise our parliament as we have privatised everything else (except enemalta of course)…regards
The German grandmother’s practical attitude is similar to that of a prayer I once read.
The euro crisis seem to be a long-drawn affair with no solution in sight. Maybe there may be light at the end of the tunnel. Hope springs eternal.